My son was recently diagnosed with SPD. He is three (soon to be 4!), and has been a handful from the start. Last year we contacted our local Education Service District after a reference from his pediatrician, and quickly learned that he was falling behind developmentally across the board. We began working with an OT and SP, which seemed to help a little, but other areas became unbearable. His little tantrums and fits became a never-ending chain of chaos. He is visibly frustrated much of the time, and seeks solace in the embrace of his Hot Wheels and miniature trains. He will sit in solitude for hours on end simply driving them back and forth, back and forth. There are many other nuances that struck us as strange, but we never thought much of it.
After his second day in class with his new OT, she asked us if she could conduct a formal evaluation. After the evaluation she explained SPD, and how much it can negatively affect the lives of children.
I am currently reading "The Out-of-Sync Child", and keep laughing at how many of the descriptions describe my son to a 'T'! How did we never notice these problems? How has nobody brought this to our attention sooner? Those were my initial thoughts.
Like I said, we just found out a few days ago, and I feel like life has become a whirlwind of seeking out all of the information I can.
I just started sharing everything with our families, and let me tell you, I feel crazy. They throw so many questions back at me, and I have no idea how to respond! How do I explain something I myself am just beginning to understand?
My son will start 'therapy' in 3 weeks, but in the mean time, how do we cope? The frustrations he encounters seem never-ending. Which, in turn, makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, or maybe not doing enough.
I am greatly looking forward to this new journey, and to getting some form of support for our son's needs. That being said, it's still hard to shake the constant accusations that we are too lenient, we don't properly address the negative behaviors and outbursts, the list goes on and on. My favorite cut-down I regularly receive from a close family member is that "if I'm going to school to become a teacher, how have I gone this long without being able to control, teach, and help my own child?"!
Enough of that negativity! I am really excited to know there are other parents out there, going through the same daily trials, and those who have helped their children to adapt, thrive, and succeed!!

I was quite a successful teacher for several years before having my child. They even specifically put "tough" kids in my class for me to work because they knew I could handle them and I still have similar challenges with my child with SPD. You know back in the day when they were first learning about Autism and they had the theory that the "refrigerator mother" theory that children with Autism were that way because they mothers were cold and uncaring? I think the "mother needs to be firmer/child is undisciplined" is the SPD version of this. It's really not your fault.

I really like the book Sensational Kids if you are wanting to read more. I've also found a lot of help in biomedical treatments with diet and supplements, borrowing from what those who treat kids with ADHD and Autism have learned

Healing the New Childhood Epidemics
gives a lot of information on this. Dr. Sear's Autism book
gives a brief mention to SPD and is a good outline of diet and supplement treatments as well as many other treatments.

Just found out too my daughter has spd too! You know people are always going to be people and blame you for things that they can't understand.. Through the years I have been told I spoiled her, I should spank her, she is out of control, I see how they look at me like wow u really don't get how to parent.. I kept in my heart that I was doing the right things for her. Every time I tried it another person's way it failed big time. As a mother you know your child and what they are going through. Forget what other people are saying they could not handle all the things that come with having a SPD child. Don't beat yourself up build yourself up because it takes alot to handle all of this... You are doing great!

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Oh I am reading Out of sync child, for me it is a good book want to read sensational kids too but starting one at a time LOL

AngelaVA,
Thank you so much for your comments! I had really gotten to a point where I was starting to take all of the negative comments from others to heart. Also, thank you for the book recommendation, I checked it out at the library today, and look forward to reading that one as well! I hadn't heard of the biomedical treatments, I will certainly look into this!
Because we just received the diagnosis, and I am still going through the acceptance phase, I feel like there is still so much I need to know! I am open to any and all ideas and recommendations at this point, especially considering many of you have been through this, are going through this, or are just beginning this journey like myself and my family!
Thank you again!

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Llavilette,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! It's amazing how much there is to consider at this early stage of understanding! I have had every insult in the book thrown my way in regard to parenting. The biggest one being that I'm a pushover and I let him get away with everything. We have been through it all, raising our voices, attempting to talk him through everything, time-outs, taking things away, the list goes on and on. The only thing we never tried was spanking him, although his Grandmother just admitted that she did this a few times while he was in her care...urgh! Every option proved to fail miserably. Either he would go into more of a rage, or nothing would phase him at all (there was NO in between!).
Today has been a better-than-average day, and it's days like today that make me remember why seeking help for him is so important. We did not leave the house at all, and have kept all indoor activities either very calm, or very active. I just hope that someday these 'good' days occur more frequently!

Hi and welcome! I completely understand about the negative comments. My mom thinks that I'm letting my younger son push my buttons when it comes to his picky eating, and just tonight she said that I should've never started sitting with my older son while he falls asleep (he has moderate to severe anxiety as well as SPD). Before my older son was diagnosed, I overheard my MIL say that he just needed a good spanking.

Things will get better. Hang in there!

Feel free to ask questions! We'll try to help!

Thank you LynnNBoys!
I am finding that the more I read and look into learning more about all of this, the less and less I am caring what others think!
I still do not know where to begin as far as methods for coping with all of this within the home. My son will start more thorough OT at preschool and in the home when school resumes on the 1st, however, for the time being I feel like things are getting worse and worse each day! We had a great weekend, but today was atrocious! I'm trying to figure out what is triggering the fits, fights, tantrums, and what not, but still do not have a clear idea at this point. Seems to be something new each and every time, and that's only when I figure anything out at all!
On another note, I understand the bedtime situation. My son is almost four and still pretty much sleeps with me at night. Each time we have tried to break this I have experienced weeks of waking up every two hours to put him back in his bed. Not worth it to me! That, and my husband works graveyard, so I really don't mind it! Oh, and you have to love those that resort to spanking as a form of dealing with children who are clearly frustrated, high-strung, or just not listening!
Thank you again for the happy welcome and your kind words!

No one lives in your shoes but you.

Sure I will judge a parent if they have an older child and they can't seem to use utensils even though they have been trained to do so. However, after being around the child for a while I realized she was just being obnoxious in order to gain attention. She knew what to do, but refused to do it because it got people to focus on her. The more we ignored her the worse her behavior got until she had a break down. I then felt bad for the mother who I had previously judged negatively.

Ddpspd, have you tried turning off the lights and/or sounds in the room where your son is having his tantrums? Some tantrums are just expressions of frustration, but with a SPD person they can be the result of being overwhelmed. When I start to have tantrums as an adult, I go hide in a cool, dark, quiet place until I calm down.

Beck7422,
We have tried turning off lights and sounds when he's really upset, and although it worked the very first time (out of shock I think), it fails to work at all now. I can certainly tell that he's either overwhelmed or frustrated during his upsets. Overwhelmed produces a fit where he hides behind something or someone, or goes just out of sight. When he is highly frustrated or agitated he hides under the dining room table or goes to the nearest wall and bangs his head, kicks, screams, etc. until he calms down or gets distracted. The frustrated fits also last for what seems to be forever, up to hours on end. *At least I'm figuring out the different fits! Now, to determine all of the triggers!!
Does anyone have any recommendations for at home tools to use (like therapy tools)? My mother just purchased him a mini trampoline with a handle for his Birthday, he will be SO thrilled!! I have also seen sensory mats for the children to walk across, balance balls and such, someone even recommended a bean bag chair to sit at the kitchen table to aide in keeping him seated! I don't know the technical terms, but he seeks touch (hard touch), is sensitive to obtrusive noises, jumps and climbs on and off of everything (even people!), and he gets extremely aggressive with his cousins. If anyone has any advice or different things that might help me with him within the home, please let me know! I just hate seeing him frustrated and upset seemingly all the time outside of school (3 more weeks!!!!).

Joint compressions would be something to try for him, as would a weighted blanket. Something squishy to sit on at the table would be good. An exercise ball that is the right size that he can be sitting on it and reach the floor with his feet can have lots of uses. One thing I have learned through lots and lots of trial and error is that it's more than just providing the activities or the equipment for them, there has to be a lot of structure and interaction for the activity to be organizing for them. For my 5 YO we often do circuits of activity so to speak. So it's not just for her to jump on the trampoline wildly to try to get her energy out. That will be fun for awhile, but then she won't be able to stop, and pretty soon she'll be exhausted and frantically hyper jumping on the trampoline and then she'll start crashing into walls and end up collapsing into a tantrum. Instead we jump on the trampoline while singing "The Ants go Marching" or some other fun song, and then we get off and swing, and while we swing we tell a story or take turns saying words that start with B or something auditory like that, and then we do something tactile like sandbox or rice table or water play and include little figures or cars or play cooking stuff for pretend play, which then sets her up to continue the calm pretend play on her own. Another scenario is I will make up a little path through the playroom and the game is crawl through the tunnel, jump over the large block, row with the stretchy band, step up and over something, pick up a ball and throw it in the basket, bounce 3 times on the exercise ball, then go around again. Again we would do to something calm and tactile after that, maybe playdough or theraputty. I doubt it's as easy as following this exact formula or someone would have put it in a book by now but I think for most kids there are different sets of activities that help more than others.

AngelaVA,
Thank you so much for the ideas! I currently do the "obstacle course" type circuit twice a day every day with him, but I can see that I'm failing in providing him with something calming to do afterwards! Thank you for pointing that out, I will certainly give it a try tonight! We are more than willing to do whatever it takes to help him through the day, and the advice is greatly appreciated!!! The reason I was asking about tools/items was because his Birthday is Thursday and everyone keeps asking what to get him...I'd rather have something useful than more cars and trucks. At this point he has more cars and trucks and hotwheels and such than I know what to do with! Thank you again for the advice!!