1. What brings you here? After researching for many many months and reading "The Out of Sync Child"..I'm pretty positive my dd7 suffers from SPD. I've scheduled an educational eval with our local elementary school but because we are a homeschooling family our family has been pushed off the waiting list and it's a never ending battle. We don't currently have insurance so OT to me seems so out of our financial means, but I have been researching methods to help dd cope and already we see results! I kept thinking we needed a dr. to write it down on paper but after much thought dh and I know this is most likely what she's suffering from. And it's treatable with the proper therapy and diet. So we're looking for hope and support in that. Our pedi that we did take her to said that he doesn't know much about SPD but the little he did know about it he said our dd was text book SPD patient..which threw me for a loop because there are so many different levels to SPD.
2. What is your relations to someone with SPD? My dd7 suffers from SPD.
3. Share a little of your journey if you'd like. When I first began researching what was going on with my dd7's behavior I stumbled upon several things but most of them didn't fit her like SPD did. I never ever heard of SPD until I began looking into it more and was completely blown away that it's treatable through therapy and not medication. I bought the book I read about..and it arrived...and I left it on the shelf...ONE YEAR later things have gotten WAY out of control and I still haven't tried to help dd. I didn't even read a SINGLE page of the book. And I just have to admit that I assumed it would just go away. How terrible of me. I kept convincing myself that it was behavioral yet she was the easiest of my 3 children until all the SPD things began to surface and I didn't know how to handle them and instead of reading the book I had purchased and read more online and find support I would send her off to her room because of a meltdown or take privelages away from her when she would hollar too loud and wake up her brother from his nap....Now I see...I need to get support to help dd and to get our whole family in the game TOGETHER on this..
4. Is there any immediate help you need? I need emotional support. I need advice for how to handle dd. I need advice on how to cope with this all. I need advice on how to explain this to my other children. I need advice on which tools to get first and which to save up for and which to avoid altogether. And I would love tips on how to contact an OT that is willing to give advice for those that just can't afford the services on a regular basis.
5. SPD doesn't run your life! What are you or your child's gifts? Interests? Because we are a homeschooling family, we are able to enjoy the company of each other all the time. We don't attend hours apart events and we rarely go to regular gatherings. We as a whole family are very indoors. My dd and I are very extroverted but this past year we've had to mellow on the outings because the outbursts and behavior has been "embarassing". She's not a fit thrower or a mouthy child. She's an OVERLY excited child and tends to hug and cuddle EVERYONE...and I mean EVERYONE! So now we enjoy studying animals and other things that interest her. We do crafts that she shows interest in and we enjoy a good book and movie together too! She has a little sister who is 5 and a little brother who is 22 months old.
6. What do you like to do in your spare time? Any hobbies or interests? I love to research! If I could be a researching and get paid I'd be the happiest bee in the hive! I love to craft of all sorts and I do enjoy homeschooling, when the weeks is going right starting on Monday...

Hey, welcome to the site Glad to see you found your way over here. x3

I'm a bit out of it right now because I'm sick, but once I'm more "with it" I'll see how I can help you guys.

feel free to come by the chat more often too, generally I'm there as well as couple others.

Hi! I'm so glad that you found us. I hope that we can give you a home where you can get some support for what you need. Maybe we can figure some things out together.

From the little you told us about what your daughter is like, it sounds like she is a sensory seeker. It will help us a lot to make suggestions if you can tell us more about how her SPD manifests, since there are, as you said, different kinds. That said, if she is a sensory seeker, I think you will find it helpful to get her things that help her safely get that input. A therapy ball to bounce and roll on would be good, and they are not very expensive. A small trampoline would also be helpful. A lot of seekers also like to be smashed, so big hugs, pushing on them while they're lying down, things of that nature can be incredibly relaxing and comfortable for them. Giving them a chance to get input that puts pressure on them and pressure on their joints is very helpful. At least, that would be a good start. Plus, that joint pressure is also quite helpful for just about anyone with SPD.

It sounds like you have a busy, happy home. I've thought of homeschooling myself, but I'm not sure I'm brave enough. I am very interested to hear how you do things. In keeping teaching in mind, I was thinking about what you could tell your kids about your daughter, and only one thing came to mind. I think I would suggest starting the conversation by talking about how everyone sees and feels things differently, and then I would tell them that her brain makes her see, hear, so on, louder (or softer, if she's an undersensitive) than other people, and that's why she does things they don't understand. Put in some examples, and I think it'll make sense to them. Frankly, that's exactly how I explained it to my husband. New examples and such as time goes on will eventually integrate it into their understanding. Even my husband is still sometimes surprised when I point out something that is effected by my SPD, but at least its more of a, oh, that makes better sense, than a do what?!

Anyway, we would love to hear more from you. Glad you came by, and look forward to hearing from you more!

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Gack! I forgot I wanted to say, if you want to put a lesson on how the brain works in there, you could tell them the theory about how everything is filtered by the lower brain stem first for danger before your thinking brain gets a chance at it, which is why people can't "think" themselves out of automatic startle reactions when they have SPD (if she's oversensitive). Just a thought.

Thank you for the warm welcome!

As for how I manage homeschooling and life in general...with alot of preparations over the summer I can do it pretty stress free. This year has been the trickest though because we have a very active toddler in the mix..making somedays just simply hands on school instead of pen and paper school. But we work through it. I'd love to share more on my journey through homeschooling if you'd like. It's a real passion our family has and the kids all love being at home for school, but they haven't anything to compare it to but Sunday school and they both say they love that they can be together all the time and that they can be with me all day and with their baby brother all day. The both were shocked to learn that if they went to "The Big School" they would be in different classes and to them that seemed ridiculous.

My dd7 had ALL the signs as a baby but I didn't even know it until last year when I started to read more into SPD. Many of her sensory seeking things were so embarassing and mind boggling that I thought other things were def. going on but the more I talked to our pedi about particular things he related them to "something else". And now we've learned that "something else" is SPD.

DD is great at school. She is almost always fidgeting during her lessons. But she's overall a great learner. She's taken multipication this year by the reins and has proved me she heard me all along in showing her how to figure out the solution! Her handwriting is good but she struggles with making the lowercase letters hit the middle dotted line. She things they are WAY too big that way and insists on making them smaller and under the middle dotted line of her primary writing paper, so we do have to erase and rewrite that stuff but I handle that with gentle concern. Unlike alot of other things I've handled. I think with school I feared if I was harsh they'd learn to hate it and then homeschooling wasn't helping in the regard to love to learn aspect dh and I were going for. However she only fits over reading...but when she reads her lesson and is done she's SOOO proud of herself. Plus we've enrolled in the Pizza Hut reading program for homeschoolers so she earns a personal pan pizza every month for reading that month. Huge plus in our classroom! We do have a room that is made completely into an elementary school room. Because we have her in 2nd grade, her sister in Kindergarten and her little brother in Toddler school. I needed a room just for school to make it more "like the real thing" I guess. hehe!

My biggest embarassment for dd7 was her excessive need for arousal. I thought something seriously was wrong when she was a baby, she'd rub on your hip while holding her..then she'd rub on her pillows and such. As she got older it never went away but she'd do it in front of anyone on the sofa or her bed and I was mortified. So I asked our pedi and he said "it's somewhat normal". Then my second daughter was born and it never happened to her and my sisters daughter was born and she never did it. My dd7 would get upset if she was caught and told to stop. And I would get upset and angry and then I realize that I was making her ashamed. So then I allowed her to do it in "private" without anyone else in the room with the door closed and after allowing that it's diminshed GREATLY! It happens MAYBE once a month now! Whereas it was several times a day. I even considered something else more serious happened but dd is with me and has NEVER been alone but in nursery at Church...so I was so concerned. Now reading about SPD it's not mentioned directly but they mention similar things like their need for sensation and arousal. So I've hoped that this was part of it. That was the most most most embarassing EVER to admit! and to even TYPE! I've never said anything but to my sister, my dh and my pedi.

Here's a little list of dd's SPD issues:

-Very picky eater
-Can't eat meat. She insists she can't swallow it.
-Always asking for sweets.
-Is Very detail orientated with explaining all the texture issues with her food but never complains and tries to eat EVERYTHING but ends up spitting it all out because she can't swallow it. (This is the newest struggle and the one big red flag that made me DO SOMETHING about her suffering)
-She can't stand loud noises.
-She can't wear ALOT of her clothes because she insists they are too tight, falling off or poking her.
-She has an overly big attachment to her stuffed animals.
-She sucks on her fingers.
-She's constantly clearing her throat.
-She has to chew gum all the time.
-She has a hard time going for long car rides and sometimes even short rides.
-She washes her hands so much that they dry and crack, she insists germs are on her hands still.
-She can't swing very high.
-She can't turn upside down.
-Clipping her fingernails causes her pain.
-Brushing her hair makes her cry.
-She is ALWAYS creating creature and things out of socks and left over fabrics and materials and growing extremely attached to them.
-She is forever making costumes and wearing them and when they don't fit right or they don't look close enough she begins to cry.
-When she has a meltdown...she's not mean about it..she just cries and insists on being right and when she's told she's not right she'll go hide and cry.
-She touches everyone!
-When she cuddles or sits on the sofa with someone she nearly smothers them.
-She talks to everyone!
-She will interupt and not even realize it until we point it out then she apologizes politely and then seconds later continues to interupt.
-She tells everyone a story!
-She insists on talking all the time, even if she's not being heard by someone. She'll talk to someone across the house.
-She loves hugs and to be held.
-She likes to be the leader of everything. When playing if she can't have the control she cries.
-Every animal or creature she makes has to be a boy and named Max.
-She has a hard time making friends because she is so "smothering" and "bossy"...and alot of the kids don't understand her. She's very extroverted and loves people and new places.
-She is very sensitive to smells.
-When she see's raw meat, she cries and begins to talk about how she was going to name that animal Max and how someone could kill it and then eat it. She would then get the food on her plate and hold it and cry. So we stopped giving her meat unless she asks.

This is just some of what I've noticed the past year.

Her eating habits have gotten so bad that I was red flagged and realized that I must take action now and no longer sit on the sidelines "hoping it would go away"...because it won't. The only thing that made me realize she wasn't acting out was when she couldn't eat meat or swallow things...she was very calm and very honest and didn't cry....she'd get upset that she couldn't and then thought by telling me she'd hurt my feelings because I prepared the meal. When I went to open the "Out of Sync" child book I was floored to read that it's "normal" in a SPD child. So I read on how to handle it and now I give her options on food (even if it's her favorite a bologna and cheese sandwich)...and when she's done, she's done..and when she asks for her dessert to give her some because she DID try!

DH is having a harder time with "accepting" that it's SPD and not behavioral. He understands it's SPD but he has on and off again times when he says "she can stop it"...and knowing she can't..it's more because he's frustrated. So he lets me just handle it until we get it all figured out.

I did read about a "chewy tube" and a vibrating mouth massager and a corn brush. She wants them all. We sat down together and she picked out ones she wanted. I did have a brand new surgical tube in packaging that I never opened that went to my breast pump. So I cut the ends off that hooks to the breast pump and tied it into a knot on one end and attached it to a lanyard cord and she chews the tar out of that tube when she needs. Thats helped alot!

Sounds like she's both sensitive and a seeker. Tough combination. Not that any of them are easy as such, but still. The chewelry (or other chew toys) are a fantastic idea, and there are many relatively inexpensive versions that can be helpful. The swallowing is a problem. It's called oral defensiveness, and trying to make her eat things she can't swallow can only make things worse. It's hard to make nutrition work within those restriction, so you may have to be creative. Doing the chewing should help some. The therapy ball, trampoline, and any kind of crashing things (like big pillows she can fall on) or swings can also help. She will need to do them as much as she can every day, especially to start with. I think you will find that, once she gets more of the input she craves, she will find less need for self-stimulation. And while I know that is embarrassing, it is very common for seekers to use self-stimulation as the fastest way to get the input they need, besides biting their fingers or something similar (genitals and fingers are the most sensitive parts of the body, so quick input). You might be able to get her a fidget or something she can hold and fiddle with in her hands, especially for when she's in public. As for riding in the car, I have exactly the same problem. This is more related to her sensitivities. My coping includes wearing either ear plugs or in-the-ear ear buds with my mp3 player and good sunglasses. The ear plugs help both with my sound sensitivities and my vestibular sensitivities (your sense of balance), the music helps soothe my ears as well, and the glasses help my visual sensitivities. I cannot describe to you how much of a positive difference this has made in my driving experience. Plus, since I'm on a budget, it's important to me that this, also, is inexpensive. My mp3 player was only 35 dollars. The ear buds were 10 dollars (although more comfortable ones can get pricey), and the sunglasses can be even cheaper. And I feel sure that other people can give some even better suggestions, but I figured I'd give you a start. I'm so glad that you are giving her a chance to help you choose things like what she will chew. I hope that this will open up some dialogue in your family that will make things smoother for everyone.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I know it's scary to admit things like you did with no expectation of how people will respond. It's a brave and ultimately good thing to help us understand and, hopefully, help you get some better advice. I hope for the best for you and your family!

Thank you so much Sarah!

I'm so glad that you mentioned the things you did. It's really nice to know that there are ways to help her in her struggles.

We currently own the therapy balls and use those as our chairs for school during our language arts lessons and such. The kids love them so I'll be sure to implement them into her diet. Also she loves jumping on the bed and I'm FOREVER telling her to stop. So I think we'll invest in a small indoor trampoline to help her. I'm sure her siblings would love this too though! We have a zune and she is annoyed with using that because the earbuds bother her. So I'm gonna have to get some good headphones for her and not earbuds. She says they feel like they are falling out when they clearly are not. As for sunglasses she's alot like me..we have to have a light sunglasses lens or we feel worse....and finding that in something that fits her is challenging..but I've yet to look online. In the next couple of days we're looking to place an order online for the mouth massager and the corn brush as well as a few other items to start with. I'm gonna see if I can't find a deal on a trampoline somewhere, this would be great for outdoors during the great spring and summer months but pull it in every evening so we can keep it in good shape to use indoors as well.

As for her eating habits. I'm working with her on this. I'm giving her all sorts of healthy options and using parsley in her omelets in the morning to give her more nutrients she needs. Also considering ordering some wheat germ and such to put into her foods. She has no problem eating grits, oatmeal, sandwiches (meat and cheese only and it has to be made in a certain order or she won't eat it), Omelets with cheese and if I mix spinach in while whisking..she'll eat it, but only half the omelet. She loves ALL fruits and can handle mac and cheese unlimited...lol! So with some creativity and digging for ways to put nutrients into her simple foods we'll be able to work around it.

She really sounds like a little character! I'll bet she's pretty creative in other ways, too. So many of us seem to be who have SPD.

Earphones should be fine if they're the kind that attach around the ear (cover the whole outer ear). That will help with the vestibular, as well. Although, are the ear buds your using the kind that go in the ear canal and not the kind that just sit in that little spot in front of it? If it's the latter, I know just where she's coming from; they always feel like they're falling off to me. lol Just wanted to make sure I was clear that it's the ones that go in the ear canal that work best for me. But if those are the ones she has problems with, the other earphones should help, too. Part of what you're looking for is the masking of the outer sounds, part is the "stillness" of the air into the ear that affects the pressure on the eardrum. That stillness makes you feel steadier.

I wish I could handle grits and oatmeal! lol It sounds like you have the nutrition problem well under control. It's always funny to me how different SPD people with oral defensiveness have often very different food textures they can and can't handle. The only one that seems to be across the board is mac and cheese... everyone seems to love that!

I think it's a great idea to get the other kids in on the activities she does for her sensory diet. That should help her tremendously in feeling less "different" or anything. Plus, the changes in how it makes her feel will make her more able to participate in other activities with her siblings, so it's a win-win for all the kids.

For the sunglasses, she might like something that's polarized better than just a plain old dark lens, especially if it bothers her that much. I find that the darker lenses really make things harder for me to see (especially on rainy days), and the polarizes lenses keep out the worst glare without making me feel blind. I don't know how hard those will be to find in her size, but I'm betting it'll be worth the effort.

I can't wait to see how she likes the corn brush and mouth massager. I have been tempted to get similar things to help me with my oral defensiveness, so I'll be interested to see what she thinks of them and if they help her.

I'm enjoying hearing about her and your family. She really sounds so much fun! I love how our kids are all such individualists. lol I look forward to hearing more. Take care, and we'll chat again later!

Alright now that I'm feeling more with it, I can pitch in my 2 cents. :3
She definitely sounds like she's sensory defensive and also a seeker. This is totally common, and I myself have both. I also have a few under responsive signs, such as certain tastes or just trying to wake up in the morning, but not as much.

I'll break down your list right here into defensive (aka super sensitive, avoids these things as much as possible, over responsive etc) and 'seeking', which is when we can't get enough of these sensations. Some of them are certain textures that we HAVE to rub our hands or other body parts ( face etc) on, certain flavors, or things such as spinning or swinging or jumping/crashing.

Check here for a better explanation of some terms I've used here, such as 'proprioceptive' and 'vestibular'. This site itself has a lot of useful information.

http://spdlife.org/aboutspd/index.html
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/
Purple is defensive traits. Blue is seeking.

-Very picky eater. Can't eat meat. She insists she can't swallow it. I have this problem too. Meat is a very rough texture, and a very hard 'food' to swallow. I struggle with it too, and often I just don't eat meat other than chicken or turkey. And even that has to be 'dark' meat.
-Always asking for sweets. This could just be a typical 7 yr old, but if she's asking for hard candy often then that could be seeking the 'crunch' that hard candy gives. That's called proprioceptive input - muscle input, put simply. It's very common for SPDers to be proprioceptive seeking amongst other things.
-Is Very detail orientated with explaining all the texture issues with her food but never complains and tries to eat EVERYTHING but ends up spitting it all out because she can't swallow it. (This is the newest struggle and the one big red flag that made me DO SOMETHING about her suffering)
-She can't stand loud noises.
-She can't wear ALOT of her clothes because she insists they are too tight, falling off or poking her. All defensive traits. Loud noises come loudER to us and often hurt irritate.
A lot of clothes made with synthetic materials such as polyester are itchy and feel like sandpaper against our skin, or ants crawling on it. A good alternative is trying to buy 100% cotton clothing, and cut the tags out of the clothes immediately. Simple things like that will make a big difference.
-She has an overly big attachment to her stuffed animals.
-She sucks on her fingers.
-She has to chew gum all the time. This is mostly seeking, but it's also a calming mechanism for when she may be 'overloaded'. The quickest ways to get sensory input is via the mouth and genitals (as well as the tips of the fingers as mawkinberd stated), which is why you may see her 'touching' herself, or sucking/chewing on her fingers often. Supplying her with chewable things and fidget items may help ease that behavior, as well as a combination of other things incorporated into what's called a "sensory diet".
-She's constantly clearing her throat.
-She has a hard time going for long car rides and sometimes even short rides.
-She washes her hands so much that they dry and crack, she insists germs are on her hands still.
-She can't swing very high.
-She can't turn upside down.
-Clipping her fingernails causes her pain.
-Brushing her hair makes her cry.
-She is very sensitive to smells All of these are defensive too. .Tactile and vestibular and our sense of smell (olfactory). Vestibular is our sense of balance. When our vestibular sense is 'out of whack' as I like to say, the rest of our senses are affected too. For me, as example, I dont like laying backwards or falling backwards. I, however, love to spin and swing. I crave the feeling that it brings. Swinging high, turning upside down, all of that is with our vestibular sense. Doing those things may make her feel anxious, or unsteady, which is why she may avoid them.
-She touches everyone! Probably seeking there. Teaching her that certain people don't want to be touched and then redirecting her to something she CAN touch is I think the best way to try and help that.
-When she cuddles or sits on the sofa with someone she nearly smothers them.
-She talks to everyone!
-She will interupt and not even realize it until we point it out then she apologizes politely and then seconds later continues to interupt.
-She tells everyone a story!
-She insists on talking all the time, even if she's not being heard by someone. She'll talk to someone across the house.
-She loves hugs and to be held.
-She likes to be the leader of everything. When playing if she can't have the control she cries.
-Every animal or creature she makes has to be a boy and named Max.
-She has a hard time making friends because she is so "smothering" and "bossy"...and alot of the kids don't understand her. She's very extroverted and loves people and new places.
-When she see's raw meat, she cries and begins to talk about how she was going to name that animal Max and how someone could kill it and then eat it. She would then get the food on her plate and hold it and cry. So we stopped giving her meat unless she asks.
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-She is ALWAYS creating creature and things out of socks and left over fabrics and materials and growing extremely attached to them.
-She is forever making costumes and wearing them and when they don't fit right or they don't look close enough she begins to cry.
-When she has a meltdown...she's not mean about it..she just cries and insists on being right and when she's told she's not right she'll go hide and cry.

----

One thing you'll notice with people with SPD- They want to be in control. Of everything. Everything in their surroundings. You never know when an unexpected and unwanted sensation will come, so by controlling your environment you can try to reduce those sensations.

What you can do for her right now, is try to incorporate some things into a schedule for her. She's homeschooled, so she has that as a regular schedule already. Incorporate "sensory breaks" into her schooling, every half hour or every hour or so. If you feel she's getting too worked up, moving "too fast" or getting over sensitive to things, let her take a 15-20 min break in a dark room with a heavy blanket over her. Maybe a weighted/compression vest for 20 mins until she's feeling better. Have her start to communicate what she's feeling, and you can even try having her compare it to movie characters. Is she feeling 'low' or 'slow' (having trouble waking up, or getting motivated to do something) like eeyore? Is she feeling high high high (over sensitive, wanting to bounce or jump a lot, trying to touch everything etc) like Tigger? Have her start to communicate with you, and with that you can start to help her.

Don't start brushing her skin with any sort of brush until you learn the protocol from a trained Occupational Therapist (OT). If you try to do it yourself, you can actually do more harm than good, so hold off on that for a bit.

The chewy ideas is a great thing. Also to help her get more oral input, try making her some thick smoothies (also a great way to sneak in some nutrients she couldn't otherwise get) and suck it through a straw. Orange juice hides the flavor of many things, so if you make a smoothie with OJ in it, you can toss in a few vegetables I'm sure, or things she wouldn't otherwise eat.

If you have the space, a trampoline (a mini one for inside use, and an outdoor one for outside) is a great investment. She'll probably want to spend hours jumping, because it gives her the feedback her body wants.

They make swings that swing in a horizontal plane, so the vestibular sense gets worked on without the child feeling like they're going to fall out. Hammocks are a good alternative, if you can get it secured strongly on both sides and let her swing in it. Put a beanbag chair or two around the swing, and let her 'crash' into it when her body is feeling too high or too low.

I lost my train of thought here, but hope this helps! x3

Thank you both sooo sooo much!!

All the details of what I typed out were broken down and explained to me..which is such a huge relief.

We have an appt. for an OT that is willing to come to our home! She's going to show us the brushing protocol if she feels that my dd needs that. So I'm going to wait on purchasing that. Also she does suggest the oral massager and the chewy tubes and similar things. I did make my dd a weighted blanket that is the size of her bed (twin)...after 7.5 hours of work with 3 kids..I managed to complete it..she LOVES it!! And is cuddling it ALL the time now. I'm so proud that I was able to sew it up for her with the mix of homeschooling, housework, just being mom and all that jazz...

I've been doing alot of reading. Also going to purchase "The Out Of Sync Child Has Fun"....and see what we can do in our home.

The OT knows we're unable to go on a regular basis so she's traveling from ANOTHER town to show us what we need to know and help her with and she's even willing to do housecalls when we need them for a smaller fee than her office visit. We weren't prepared for the price of the OT but if she can get us on the right path and continue to work with us once a month (all we can budget right now) then that's better than her not getting ANY of it.

In the beginning we thought that making her different meals than what we eat was spoiling her but after reading it's better that she EATS than not! So I'd rather make a small portion of something she'll eat on the side of what I make the rest of us for dinner.

DH is coming to terms very well. I've spent the past several days crying alot. As we get to work with her OT and see dd thrive from that therapy then I think I'll feel less hopeless in the situation.

Thanks so much for all you've said and helped explain to me.

One thing I do in cars to help with problems I have riding as a passenger is to read a book. That way I have become one with the book and the book isn't moving so it takes much longer before my body starts to get upset with me. Poor air quality usually pulls me out of the book and causes me to freak out at some point. If I don't read in a car, I feel like every cell in my body is moving around in a direction the car isn't going. It is upsetting and exhausting. This effect is even worse if the road is bumpy or there are quick light changes (light passing through trees or tall buildings).

Your daughter sounds like a creative extrovert. Once you help her to figure out how to manage some of the more publicly embarrassing signs of SPD, she will probably need more interraction with children/people than just your family. I am a creative extrovert.

-She touches everyone!
-When she cuddles or sits on the sofa with someone she nearly smothers them.
-She talks to everyone!
-She will interupt and not even realize it until we point it out then she apologizes politely and then seconds later continues to interupt.
-She tells everyone a story!
-She insists on talking all the time, even if she's not being heard by someone. She'll talk to someone across the house.
-She loves hugs and to be held.
-She likes to be the leader of everything. When playing if she can't have the control she cries.

With the exception of the crying if I don't get control, this could have described me as a child. After some correction from family and friends of the family, as an adult I am able to tone this down. However, I need to be the person that creates new groups of friends, pulling people together, and telling stories that get the groups interacting. I LOVE to throw parties. Board gaming parties, but still they are parties with 6+ people at them at a time. I will talk to any random stranger in any random location. I NEED to do it and I feel like a failure when I haven't met enough new people in some amorphous amount of time. This is a personality quirk of mine and this extrovertedness isn't part of SPD. SPD just adds a richess to the experience.

I tend to befriend other people that have "quirks", so many of them end up having mild to moderate cases of SPD. They all appreciate the deep hugs I insist on when I meet them again or when they leave my home. In many of their cases they unconsciously "request" the hugs as well.

A meat light diet won't hurt your daughter, especially since it sounds like there are some meats/protein she will eat in moderation. You can also make complex proteins using rice and beans/lentils that can work as a dietary replacement for meat. I did that for a while when trying to find out which meats I had a food allergy too. Turned out to be just Pork and most Fish. Additionally, any meat that contained a large amount of Corn like Corned Beef, was going to cause an allergic reaction due to my food allergy to Corn.

Texture wise for me, Brocolli, Califlower, Potato Chips, and anything "crunchy" is just plain unacceptable and it takes a lot for me to eat them. Due to my food allergies, only the Brocolli and Califlower are ones I have to force myself to eat since they are "safe" for me to eat. I have found that stews, soups, and dishes where they are cut up as fine as possible are the only bearable way to eat Brocolli and Califlower.