Hi, Ourfishies! It's nice to meet you, too. And it's wonderful to see that your seeking out people who understand what's going on with your boyfriend. I know, from what my husband says, that it's very difficult to understand it when you're not dealing with the same issues. It really shows that you care a lot about him, and that's always a wonderful thing.

I can understand a lot of what you're talking about. My husband has real difficulties when I pull away from his touch. For one thing, I can't stand touch that comes out of the blue. In other words, don't ever, ever surprise me! I wouldn't be surprised if that's something your boyfriend has difficulties handling. Plus, like beck said, the "weight" of the touch makes a huge difference. Many of us (including me) can't stand some types of touch but crave others. For me, deep, intense touch to non-sensitive areas are something I crave. Things like this are pretty much any non-ticklish areas, like most of my back, shoulders, tops of my legs or knees, areas of that sort. And my touching someone else as opposed to their touching me makes a big difference, too. It's easy for someone not in my shoes to not know where to touch me or how, and no matter how much of an effort I make, there's only so much relaxing into it that I can pull off. So it's worth experimenting on where he likes to be touched most and least, how hard or soft, and that sort of thing. And it may be easier for him to hug you if he hugs your back, so that you only touch his arms around your front, especially when you really need the touch and he really needs the control.

As for going out, I know exactly what you mean, except, of course, that I'm on the other side. I also have difficulties with out-of-the-house activities, with all the bright lights, loud people, immense amounts of sensory overload. Even sitting through a church sermon is sheer torture for me. Sure, other people are going to ask. And it's alright to say, yeah, my boyfriend has medical issues that make it difficult for him to deal with this sort of thing. Of course, you can fill in whatever you want for medical issues, but it's the truth. And as for doing things together, there are so many things you can find and do that will be fun for you both. It will take some working, but I'm sure you'll find some things that are easier for him in the sensory world. I love walking in the park, but I have fewer sensory issues than some here. It bothers my allergies, and when I get back to the open area (I walk the wooded paths), I usually have to do my sunglasses for a bit, but the absence of lots of noise and people really makes things easier for me. My idea of fun might not be his, but I'm sure there's something out there that you can work out together.

Whew, that got overlong! lol I hope that, with a little experimenting, you can find something that will work better for both of you. And you can take comfort in this; if he's willing to put forth that much effort to meet you halfway, he must really love you, too. With that much love from both sides, there's a lot of promise there.

Look forward to hearing more about you both!