http://www.amazon.com/dp/0310247454/?tag...ztorsgri_b Nothing to do with SPD but relationships, but I suggest this book. Practice some lines and use them as needed i.e. You are being rude and unhelpful, I need you to stop now. This is his food. You may not feed him. This is our decision. This is his medical need. This is my child and you must respect my rules. I will not discuss this with you anymore. It's time for you (or us) to leave now. I think it is likely that you need more distance from these people for a time while they wrap their head around the situation and you get a break from their negativity. In my experience no support is better than negative support.

I have to disagree with leaving the baby in the grandmother's care. The baby deserves to be cared for by people who understand his needs and respect him. Sending him off with someone who does not would be very traumatic and likely to cause more regressions for him. Parents need a break yes but for it to be a productive break it needs to be by a caring responsive caregiver. I would never leave my children with anyone who did not respect me. It's not a baby's job to convince relatives of his special needs, it's their job to accept and respect them or not. Turn your focus to finding supportive friends ask your OT provider and Early Interventions for parent groups, ask your local autism society about groups and about a mentorship program, when you do your Early Intervention if they find him eligible ask about respite care, if they don't know ask them who would know. In the meantime pass the baby off to his daddy as often as possible for you to take a couple of hours to have a bath or coffee with a friend or whatever will give you a mini break. Practice doing this often.