Hi! I think of SPD as being on a scale and having varying degrees. Some have severe issues, some hardly have trouble at all. My older son was officially diagnosed with SPD (and anxiety) when he was 6 (10 now). He's mostly sensory defensive, also has low muscle tone, and a few other things I can never remember or pronounce/spell. He has a very difficult time with transitions and has a lot of anxiety about the unknown/anything new. Early on, we just thought he was very shy and slow-to-warm in new situations. It was his Kindergarten teacher who brought her concerns to us, because he wasn't interacting with the other kids, he was still parallel playing. Then we went from there.

My younger son is 3 1/2 years younger. For a while I thought that he had no signs of SPD. But as he's gotten older, I'm recognizing that he is a sensory seeker. When I would pick him up from preschool, he would run and crash into me to give me a hello hug, he would try to knock me down when I crouched down to hug him. He just loves to crash into things, spin faster, loves bear hugs and being sandwiched between pillows, and just goes and goes and goes. He can't sit next to me, he has to sit on me and give me hugs and kisses (don't mind!), and loves twirling my hair in his fingers. He prefers to eat with his fingers--and he's a very very picky eater. He's 6 1/2 now, about the age when my older son was diagnosed. I've been so torn about whether to get him diagnosed or not. Then main thing is that it's not interfering with his schoolwork (at least not yet). He can hold it together for the most part during the day, then lets it all out at home. Another main thing is that he doesn't seem to have the same anxiety levels as my older son does (and did at 6 yrs old). So yes, I think there are varying degrees--as well as how well they seem to be able to cope with things and life in general. Your daughter probably has some sensory issues, but does it interfere with your or her daily life?

As for sleeping, my older son was a terrible sleeper from infancy. He would only sleep if he was nursing or touching me in some way, or right next to me in bed. He never took a pacifier or a bottle, only me. Looking back, I'm sure he had the anxiety even as a baby. Being a first time mom, I let others and my husband tell me that he needed to sleep on his own. We did the crying it out thing (and I cried my eyes out too). It worked for a short time, but then he was back to not sleeping well. It would take him so long to fall asleep. By the time he was 5-6-7 years old, it would take an hour on a good night and 3+ hours on a bad night. He would cry to me that he didn't know how to fall asleep. We have always had a sleep routine since he was about 10-12 months old, of pajamas, brush the teeth, go potty (when he was older), read books, then bed. I also tried rocking him to sleep, we tried The Floppy Sleep Game book & CD, we tried rewards, tried a night light. We've had the most success with him with a CD of ocean waves as a white noise sort of thing. I had moderate success with joint compressions at bedtime, when he was really agitated. And then a year ago or maybe a little more, I bought weighted blankets and that seemed to help as well. I tried melatonin with him, but had the liquid first and he said it was too spicy. Now I have the chewables, but he still won't take them. And hubby and I take turns sitting in his room until he falls asleep since his anxiety seems to peak at bedtime. So at his peak it would take 3 hours to fall asleep, then around 8 years old, it would take about an hour, by 9 years old it took about 30-40 minutes, now at 10 years old it takes him about 20 minutes. He doesn't use the weighted blanket as much now either, but we do still sit with him until he's asleep.

As for my younger son, he was always the good sleeper. He loved his pacifier--he had it from Day 2. Even the lactation consultant at the hospital said what a strong sucker he was. So as a baby, we could put him in his crib with his pacifier and he'd be out in a flash. Even as he got to be a toddler and preschooler, we could do our bedtime routine, tuck him in and he'd be out in 20 minutes. But sometime last year in Kindergarten, it started to take him longer and longer to fall asleep. He liked his brother's weighted blanket so much that I bought one for him too. Luckily, he didn't mind the liquid melatonin so I gave it to him (now we do the chewables). Without melatonin (just weighted blanket), he takes an hour to fall asleep. With the melatonin and blanket, he takes 10-15 minutes to fall asleep. He tends to be hot when he's sleeping, so I do a fan in his room for cool air and for the white noise.

(FYI-- older son was a 36 weeker and younger son was a 39 weeker.)