I hope things are better, J's mom! That's a terrible way to start the year! I hope the teacher doesn't hold this against your DD.

My son has a very hard time with transitions and changes to his routine. All kids, especially SPD kids, need routine. I would have the school work with her on the class routine. For future years, try to get her paired with teachers who typically stick to a schedule in their day.

My son had OT motor breaks during the day in 1st and 2nd. Before school, an aide would bring him to the playground swing set to swing for 10 minutes. He got overwhelmed with the commotion of the other kids putting their backpacks away, so he would swing until all the kids were settled in the classroom. He got the motor break and was away from the loud noises of the kids getting settled.

They also had him do wheelbarrows, push himself on those sitting scooters, punch a punching bag, carry a stack of books, etc. He was allowed to chew gum while sitting down to do a math sheet. End of the day, again to get away from the noise of kids getting backpacks, an aide took him to the library and read a book to him until his bus was there.

I didn't find out until later that for his first couple of days of 1st grade, he held his teacher's hand and clung to her side the whole day. I'm lucky to be in a wonderful school district. They've helped him so much. We also lucked out that our school has a looping program, so my son has the same teacher 2 years in a row--1st-2nd, 3rd-4th, 5th-6th. Fewer transitions and less change.

My older son doesn't get it either. Things that most would consider common sense, I need to explain to him. His younger brother understands things better than he does. I agree with Jaffa. People think they're naughty, but it's not that. They don't have that connection in their brain to "get it."