I can't exactly answer your questions as you want, but maybe my answers will help give you some information.
I'm a 22 year old with SPD (and Asperger's Syndrome). I've never actually dealt with children with SPD, but I can answer for myself, and some might help you understand her better.
Quote:I read a previous post about having meltdowns after school. Could you please describe what your child's meltdown looks like or what it looked like at 4 years old and what type of SPD your child has? We are really struggling with this after preschool but I don't know if there is more to it then SPD.
I can't tell you what my meltdowns were like when I was 4. I actually don't remember much in the way of meltdowns until I was older (they really got worse after I went to college).
However, I can say that my meltdowns are overwhelming hopelessness, irritation at people, why won't things go my way, unable to deal with anything around me. I sob, I scream, I don't feel like there's any hope. I don't feel like anyone cares about me (even when my boyfriend is waiting for me to calm down so he can help me get over it). It'll sometimes be 'why am I so worthless', it'll sometimes be screaming at others, it'll sometimes be both.
I don't know how useful this is because I associate my meltdowns more with the whole being autistic part than the SPD subpart.
Quote:If you were to take your child somewhere that he is she is not familiar with or has a lot of people around, what would his or her reaction be (or what would it have been at 4)?
When I was young I was focused on my parents, I'm sure. I was very clingy. I also apparently when put on a toddler leash decided I must be a dog and would crawl around barking.
I need something that I'm used to to ground me. I think this was also true when I was young, then it was my parents, now its my boyfriend. If I'm alone its an entirely different situation than if he's there with me.
Quote:Also, does your child switch back and forth from good days and bad days? That's the hardest part for us to cope with. You never know what you are going to get. And there is no trigger we can identify. Does anyone else experience this?
This is why I wanted to respond. I can tell you from others watching me, and from my own perception, this is something that's strongly true for me. I've identified some of my triggers, but I still don't know when I'll be more hypersensitive, when I'll be having a harder emotional time, or when I'm having a good day.
Identifiying large classes of things that help me when I'm having a bad day has helped for this, especially when they're things that are nice for both good and bad days. I react very well to water. I also react very well to animals. This means I have a waterproof kindle case, have a cat (kitty! She's amazing), and others know to push me towards things in those larger sets of things.
I'd guess some of it has triggers that could theoretically be identified. I know my skin is more hypersensitive when the air is dry when I sleep. If I keep a humidifier running, then my skin is less likely to have the days of even more overreaction than normal. This took experimenting to figure out, but once we figured it out there was a coping skill that just needed to keep the habit of keeping the humidifier filled. Noises bother me more when I'm hungry. Smells bother me always.
It might be harder to identify in someone who's hyposensitive, I'm not sure, but observation and experimentation can help figure out those triggers, and if you only get one or two, that can still help.
However, yes, I do in fact definitely do that. It's actually one of the things I feel guiltier about. I'm okay with pulling away, I'm not okay with pulling away from things that a half hour previously would have been fine. I feel like its unfair to people around me.
Hopefully you also get responses from parents, but also hopefully this might help a little, from the point of view of the SPD person themselves
. (Though unfortunately, I'm very hypersensitive, not at all hyposensitive, though I am seeking)