I am a stay at home mother of two children, a 13.5 year old daughter and a 23 month old son.

I have read about SPD, and I am convinced that my son needs to be evaluated for SPD after completing the checklist. My husband does not agree that anything is not average.

I first thought my son might have a form of autism (my husband's brother has autism and until the last few days i had never heard of SPD) However when i read some of the symptoms of SPD, I thought, "that's it, that's my son in words!"

My son had trouble nursing right from the very start. Then, as he progressed to baby food, he would gag and choke, and often throw up what he had eaten. I soon had to resort to feeding him with a medicine dropper to get anything in him beyond breastmilk. he did ok until I had to wean him at 19 months due to my own serious health conditions. Then his weight began to plummet and alltogether, he has gone from the 98th percentile at birth to around the 25th.

My son screams and fights diaper changes to the point where he has injured himself. Hw almost never leaves clothes on and strips to nothing if I do manage to get him dressed. He is exceptionally affectionate with me and had SEVERE separation anxiety. He can count to ten and spell words at 23 moths, but won't point to body parts, let me read him a story, or engage in back and forth talking or even babbling.

It takes as long as a half hour to put him in his car seat, but sometimes he screams to go bye bye for an hour just because he wants to go somewhere. When we do go out, i have to let him keep his face buried in my chest and cover his open ear to avoid a meltdown. these tantrums are not your normal ones. He gave me a black eye in one and they will last a. for hours or b. until i can find a completely quiet place and sway him back and forth. if there is no quiet place, he will scream for an hour or more.

He gets upset when you use the microwave, garbage disposal, vacuum(unlelss you let him use it himself, then he's fine) dryer, and especially the hair dryer or blender. He will bang his head on a door until you open it, and he has left bruises on his head. He constantly runs and falls A LOT. he has all sorts of marks on him, to the point where i sometimes fear I will be turned in for child abuse even though i would never harm him.

but the very worst times are any sort of gathering, even at our house, but especially in public places. he literally screams the entire time, unless there is music, which calms him, but only if he gets to dance to it.

I really want to have him evaluated, but my husband feels I am overreacting to normal terrible twos behavior. I have sought advice from everyone i know, but the best advice i got was time outs ( which actually work, but only if you walk out of the room.) the most common advice i receive is that i am lax on discipline or need to spank him. but i give my kids steady, loving discipline. I dont let them get away with everything, nor do i yell or strike them. Before my son was born, people told me they wanted to be a mom like me. Now they see us coming and avoid me.

So i guess what I am looking for is:
a. if this sounds like SPD and if so,
b. how do I convince my husband to get an evaluation, and where do I start?

Thats about all. and thank you.

Awwww, (((Hugs)))) I know what you are going through. It sounds like SPD, it could be an Autism Spectrum Disorder in the mix too. He needs an evaluation for sure. Things like this will get worse and not better without help. When he is spending time upset and tantruming he is not learning and it will lead to cummulative developmental delays that could potentially be avoided. I would get a referral to a Developmental Pediatrician and an Occupational Therapist. I would look on the SPD foundation's database and see if you can find an OT near you. I would also call your local Early Intervention Program since he is under 3. I encourage you to just be confident and tell your pedi you need the referrals, or a prescription in the case of the OT. E.g. "I'm concerned about his development I would like a prescription for an occupational therapy evaluation and a referral to a developmental pediatrican." Sometimes if you just start detailing the concerns they will try to just make you feel better about it thinking that's helpful but they only thing that's helpful for is for them wanting to get you out of their office and move on to the next parent.

RE your husband. Knowledge is power. If you go through all the referrals and nothing is wrong then you can both be on the same page right? If not, wouldn't you rather know while he is still young and you have a chance of helping him in a way that will make him develop neurologically more normal instead of just coping with symptoms when he's older?

ty so much. I'm sorry but I am actually very close to tears right now. I just finally feel like someone understands and doesn't think i'm a bad mom. I will do these things as soon as I can. We have a birth to three program here which is free. maybe the first step is to call them. Then at his next checkup, in a couple of weeks ask for the referrals, since he has his two year check up. now my biggest worry is that i waited so long! I've known since the baby food that something was out of place, so to speak, and im going to use the two weeks to write everything down and learn about the spd, so i can be informed when i do get to talk to a developmental pediatrician and OT. Strangely, I am upset that he might have this, but more relieved than anything else, because ive tried to fix these things on my own and I can't. i need help for him, to help him be the best him he can be!

Sounds like SPD to me as well. He is young enough that the Occupational Therapist should be able to lower his sensitivity or at least management techniques to deal with it.

Since your son is so sound sensitive, you might want to look into some kind of kid earplugs for when you go into noise based environments that upset him.

What material is your son's diapers and clothes made of? Many of us have a lot of problems with different matterials. I have a horrible time with them. I can only wear 100% cotton, velvet, or leather. I can tolerate rayon. Most other materials burn and itch. After a few minutes I start to get hives. Clothes shopping is a nightmare for me. Not all SPD individuals have the same "safe" clothing materials so you have to test the hard way.

I recommend your son using one finger at a time to touch a material (a fabric shop probably would be the easiest for this). If he yanks his hand away quick then the material should be put on the "Do not wear list". If he starts petting the material or tries to surround himself in the material then put it on the "Wear list". Each material tested needs a different finger because sometimes it takes a while for the finger to recover from the "Do not wear list" materials. I can reuse a finger that touched a material that was on my "Wear list".

Although your son will be grumpy and/or upset after this test, the information will help you in future clothes purchases a lot and should help you figure out which clothes he will keep on him the longest.

My mother had to use 100% cotton cloth diapers on me when I was a baby because everything else caused too much pain and rashes.

I agree with Angela. Sounds like SPD and maybe some autism.

That's an excellent idea to write down your observations about his behaviors. Share the list with the OT and the Developmental Ped. Also bring the checklist.

Don't worry, this is still early. My son wasn't diagnosed until 1st grade. I remember being relieved at the diagnosis. Yes, it takes some time to accept it but mostly it was a relief to finally know what was going on and get help.

I tried to get my husband to read about SPD but had little success. I think he looked over the checklist but that was about it. It has taken him years to get it. The rest of our extended family doesn't really get it either, and I'm not very good at explaining it.