Hi everyone,

I am first very thankful for this site and all of the great resources that I have found out because of it.

We recently lost a great caregiver because our 3 1/2 year old son was too aggressive and having too many unprovoked outbursts. I just filled out the paperwork today to get him evaluated (though our school district has not been helpful -- I tried to have him evaluated at his 3rd birthday and no one ever returned my calls - but that's another story). We live in a pretty rural area - no kids in the neighborhood, and we recently moved, so we don't have much of a support network (or local friends with kids); so we were missed I think for a bit when L got stuck in certain developmental phases or reacted quite differently.

In speaking with a friend about everything that was going on, she raised SPD. When I looked into it, read the stories of parents, it was as if I put a pair of glasses that let me see how all of these seemingly unrelated events and behaviors formed a much larger picture. He is definitely got some proprioceptive stuff going on, and some potential other issues as well. Added to which, in going through a lot of the red flags, it is also clear that both my husband and I have many of the symptoms as well. And because the universe has a sense of irony, where my son is sensory seeking, I withdraw -- so no doubt one struggle for me will be to manage my sensitivities to say a lot of sound, where Logan seeks that out. I suspect now that I am more aware of it, that will also help. I do think that as his has gotten more pronounced so has mine.

Right now, I am equally relieved to know what is going on (and not say guilty about being a bad parent - why is he always so uncooperative? why can't we go to shop rite without a major meltdown? why can I still not be on the phone when he is awake?), and also sad that I know that he has had many of these symptoms his entire life, and on too many occasions, I got frustrated with him or he got put on time outs for things that were in many respects beyond his control as of yet. But I also know that I am an attentive parent, one who really does pay attention to him and his cues, and have done a lot "right" - many of which is part of the OT routine for a kid with proprioceptive issues without knowing anything about SPD, so I know, that now that I am armed with that, I can do much better to help him.

Looking forward to learning more, for myself, for my son, and for my family.

Hi! Welcome! I love how you related it to putting on glasses! That's a great description! It's amazing how you think your child just has some sort of quirk but then you read about all the seemingly unrelated symptoms or check list items--and you just think, Wow, *that's* my child!

It's great that you know about this now when he's 3. Though sometimes it is hard to know if the behavior is something sensory related or if they're just being 3. I wish I'd known earlier (my son was 6 at diagnosis), mostly because I would've had more patience with potty training him. We struggled through it from 30 months to about 47 months before he finally got the hang of it. I'm sure it was because he either didn't feel the sensation of needing to use the bathroom, or he didn't make the connection between the sensation and needing to use the bathroom. He actually night trained (~41 months) before he day trained. Have you had any luck with potty training yet? My younger son (6) isn't officially diagnosed since his SPD seems more mild. He was easier to day train (took only ~3 weeks around his 3rd birthday), but he is still in GoodNites/UnderJams at night, some nights he soaks through the pull-ups.

It's hard to not feel that parent guilt. And the looks you get when you're out in public. Like, why can't you control your child? It can be isolating since I started to stay home more often just so we wouldn't have to deal with the meltdowns out at stores or wherever.

My older son is sensory avoider/defensive, younger is sensory seeker, and I'm more avoider/defensive. My younger son loves to give and get big bear hugs all the time, loves crashing into things. He can't sit next to you, he has to sit on you and then play with your hair.

Welcome to the group!

Welcome! My daughter was diagnosed at 3 1/2 as well. The outbursts and getting stuck in developmental phases are things we deal with as well. I totally understand the issues with going out in public, they've gotten a lot better for us in the last year but still, I understand.