Hello. I am new to this forum. My son is 8 years old. I worry about him constantly and often feel smothered, frustrated and overwhelmed by his behaviors. My daughter (13) resents him because he has little or no responsibilities for chores on any given day - this is because it is such a struggle for me to get the basics accomplished with him because there are constant interruptions (as indicated below). He was diagnosed with ADHD last year, but I see many behaviors that I think resemble SPD. Some of these may be more related to other issues, but here is what we are dealing with at present:

- Especially with those he is more familiar/comfortable with, he is constantly touching people, overly affectionate and seems to disrespect or not understand personal boundaries because he rarely has a problem with anyone else doing the same to him. No matter what the consequences or what is said, he persists despite repeated requests and warnings...
-- Wants to hug and kiss over and over within a short period of time
-- Walks directly in front of or very close beside people - seems to seek out direct contact so that someone will run into or trip over him
-- Can't get enough "cuddle" time with me
-- Often touches people on the butt
-- Gyrating movements (is this common?)

- Makes the same noises or says phrases/lyrics he likes over and over and OVER - has been doing this for the past couple of years or more

- Sniffs constantly for no apparent reason - has been doing this since toddler age

- Will not try new foods without a battle - has been doing this since toddler age

- Has trouble choosing a snack, what to eat for breakfast, clothes/shoes to wear, game to play, etc.

- Has strong aversion to certain toothpastes, often will not brush his teeth if the mint is too strong - a few nights ago he went to bed crying and said he didn't want cavities, but he didn't want to brush his teeth...I let it go for that night because I was just tired of going back and forth with him on it and didn't have another toothpaste for him to try

- Constantly moving, jumping, etc.

- Has trouble calming himself when upset. I often find myself holding the door to his bedroom so he (and I) can get a break. He yells, bangs on or throws things at the door and tries to open it the whole time. If I don't do this, he will follow me around the house asking over and over why he can't have or do X or talking at me, trying to start an argument about whatever it is he is upset about. He will say really mean things when he's like this, things he doesn't hear from his sister or I, like "I hate you"... "I wish you would die", etc.

- Rarely (if ever) plays independently - which is contributing to problems I have getting him to do sensory activities.

- Any sort of play fighting, wrestling, tickling, etc. leads to him getting very, very amped up - not angry, but it's like you can see his adrenaline is getting out of control.

- Very picky about clothes. Often refuses to wear something because of how it feels.


Here are some things the school and I have done to try to help him:

- He has a break at school every morning around 10am for a snack and movement. They also give him little sensory breaks during the day when they can. He also spends a small portion of the day with the SPED class (has a smaller ratio compared to his regular class).

- We have an after-school schedule for him that includes a 15-20 minute active activity (such as walking on the treadmill, playing soccer in the back yard, pushing/pulling activity, exercise ball, etc.) - this often becomes a stressor because he has difficulty deciding which he wants to do - I find myself picking one and bribing him to get him to do it - i.e. "If you'll walk on the treadmill for 15-20 minutes, I will let you ____."

- His after-school schedule also includes a more calm / quality time activity, such as reading a book or playing a card game with me.

- His schedule also includes responsibilities, such as putting away lunch box, hanging up jacket, taking his bath, etc.

- He was going to Occupational Therapy once a week, but they released him a few weeks back, saying they were happy with his progress. School is going good, but he is still struggling at home, as noted above.

- I try to prepare him ahead of time for what we'll be having for dinner or even let him help me, but this is a struggle for me, as I am not the best about planning ahead due to my busy schedule and I also don't always have a lot of time to let him help me. I sometimes just resort to letting him have a healthy cereal or oatmeal.


Weekends, holidays and vacation times are a real struggle for him / us because it is not as structured.


Anyway, that is all I can think of right now. I've had at least a couple of meltdowns (crying) a week myself because of the stress. I feel like as much as I try to help him, nothing is good enough.