Today, I just narrowly escaped crying and freaking out in public... I was in the supermarket. I was wondering if you guys become very *very* confused and disoriented when extremely overwhelmed both emotionally and sensory wise (together) ... do your thoughts seem to work so slowly that they are no use, you can't take in everything around you properly...you feel dizzy, confused, and become very off balance to the point of almost falling over. This happens at least once every 4 days...

Also....I'm finding my my ability to tolerate triggers and stress associated with daily living (such as being out in public, on transport, in supermarkets etc.) is becoming much worse (over the past 6 months) than it has ever been.. I think.
I feel discouraged, because I can't lock myself away from the world and never go out, I get lonely very easily and enjoy spending time with small groups of people I know well (not *all* the time, however - need frequent 'rests'), and I don't drive so the need to use public transport most places is always there. I also can't opt to stay inside on busy days as I have my study/course on 2 days a week minimum, sometimes in the city and sometimes about 45 mins to an hour away, each way.. as well as various appointments on other days. I feel like I am becoming this angry, horrible and unpleasant person to be around the majority of the time, because I'm at cracking/'meltdown point' daily.. and my parents (who I talk to every day or two on the phone) and my boyfriend who I live with seem to cop the most of my frustration/tantrums... I have never liked anger as an emotion, and never been an angry person, I don't like being angry and it upsets me to no end to see myself so irritable, it is so unlike me.

(I'm very tired - sorry if this post doesn't really make sense)
Any comments, thoughts or advice welcome!

Are you seeing an OT - are you having therapy of any kind?

I've read that SPDers will need batches of therapy off and on, when life triggers their SPD and they need help coping.

I see this is about a month old... hope you managed to work something out since then.

PS I'm not confirmed and I don't get dizzy, but I have found I just don't take anything in when I'm in a busy environment. I won't remember what something looked like unless someone called attention to it. I don't remember what we past or any of the people (unless we stop and talk to someone). So maybe similar?

I understand, I don't have any help to say other than to tell you that I don't know how to do those things either. I can't go to the store unless I wear earplugs and sunglasses and i go in and out as fast as I can. I went months without going anywhere and have no close friends or family to say the least. You are not alone and I hope you can find a way that works for you. I think if we just keep doing our best and finding ways to do what works for us we will be fine. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. chin up, sunglasses on, that's what I tell myself.

Chin up, sunglasses on is a good motto (Though personally I HATE sunglasses, they make my visual problems worse, that seems to be unusual)

Being overwhelmed means your system is overloaded. The key is to optimize nervous system functioning so you don't get so easily overwhelmed. Sensorimotor activities are helpful but will be limited unless you bring integrity to other systems that destabilize you: nutrition, cranial/sacral misalignment, internal and external toxicity, stress and emotional factors. If you haven't read it, my book Too Loud, Too Bright, too Fast, too Tight can be of help as can my new book, Uptight and Off Center which covers all aspects of SPD. Both books cover much territory and interventions to get a handle on the problem. If you purchase them, let me know if they help you.

Have you thought about a psychiatric support dog to help you when you get this overstimulated.

Naomi

Thanks everyone for the replies, i'm sorry I haven't checked this forum for a few weeks - things have been very hectic!

Kate_M - thanks for the support, I am seeing an OT, I feel it is helping with coping strategies, and being able to talk through things with someone who understands Have also recently considered the possibility of ADHD in addition to SPD (SPD symptoms being diagnosed independently of ADHD, as they are such a huge problem for me, and not just secondary to adhd). my OT and I had our last session for the year yesterday. It was such an emotional, draining, but productive session. For the first time I actually herd her *say* that I have Sensory Processing Disorder!
We have listed some steps to take next year, including considering consulting a O.T/driving instructor for a (one off) driving assessment, and a physical therapist/O.T - to work with me in conjunction with her (my current O.T). I mentioned to her that I also want to work on balance issues, as I find I get very unstable if something in my field of vision moves slightly - She asked me if I had had any ear infections as a child, as they can ..something about inner ear being close to visual something... I can't remember exactly... I said I wasn't sure - and would have to check with my parents. Spoke with my parents and turns out I had an ear infection and burst ear drum when I was young, about 18 months old.
We spoke how to get better consistency with remembering to brush.
O.T said she finally got in touch with my Psychiatrist, and they discussed the possibility of a very mild anti-anxiety medication to settle my startle response, which I've been struggling with.... (gets embarrassing when e.g. a car honks its horn - no one else cares or even noticed - but you scream loudly and throw everything in the air/or drop everything ) I feel so sorry for my boyfriend if he is out with me - he gets pretty embarrassed easily. him: "honey - stop being so sensitive! " me: really? ... I don't know why i didn't try that already
My O.T suggested that I could try a body sock to help calm me when I go into 'meltdown' mode, to help calm me - espeically in the mornings when trying to get dressed is a huge ordeal!
my boyfriend: "I don't really understand?? why were you screaming and all frustrated, failing around on the floor - you looked possessed! .. you act a bit like a tantrum-ing toddler" .. I try to explain to him I get really over-whelmed and sometimes sensory stuff becomes so much that it hurts me, it feels painful. He's may seem a bit insensitive, but he is very caring, and its probably confusing for him.

Laura - thank you so much for your kind words. it means a lot knowing there are others who can understand my situation

Tuttleturttle - haha yes! fantastic motto by laura, I agree sunglasses can be a problem - but sometimes I have to try and suck it up and deal with it or else im walking around pretty much blinded, and cant see where i'm going - still if i can get away with not wearing them, that's definitely my preference! I have a problem with hats! - they often give me headaches - as too much pressure on my head - but mostly have trouble with my field of vision - the brims seem to interfere and throw me!

Sharon Heller - thank you so much for your reply. My O.T and I are making a game plan and trying to address all different aspects including audio, visual, proprioceptive, olfactory etc. and she is going to keep checking in and working with my Psychiatrist, who I've been working with a long time to address emotional and psychological issues. No doubt both O.T and psychs work will have slight overlap. I am un-familiar with a few of those terms you used in your reply - however I will look into them, and discuss them with my O.T - im also sur eyou explain these in your books;

I'm on a bit of a tight budget at the moment - but I'm hoping to purchase Uptight and Off Center as I have heard it touches a bit more on adult's with SPD? - but I'm hoping to buy both books soon as I can - I've heard such good things about both. I will be sure to let you know how I find them - but im certain they will be a great read, and very helpful.

Naomi (PeceofaPuzzle) - I did look at perhaps getting a psychiatric dog to help me late last year... but didn't go further with it, because parents told me to wait and see if things improved... - I know it would be a huge comfort and great help for me... I adore animals - they are my life! I am currently doing a Certificate IV in animal studies - behavioral stream, so am learning about training and behaviour of animals.... I am hoping to go on to do dog training work.. and there I guess, is the issue - many dogs have behavioral issues, anxiety, fear or aggression - much of which can be directed towards other dogs...
If i did not go down the training path, I would perhaps work in animal adoptions or at a pet super-store/warehouse (one that does *not* sell puppies and kittens - I do not approve of that)... However, I am nervous if I were to have a service dog, I would of course have to be open with employers, who may think there are too many risks in hiring me... I know they can't discriminate, but they could find many other "reasons" to refuse me - such as "we found a better candidate" etc. and I wouldn't know if it were because I had a service dog or they really did have a better candidate.

A friend of mine with another psychiatric problem, has a service dog - and I have seen some people be so so rude to her, because she does not appear disabled physically.. she has even been refused entry to places (which is illegal), and we hear people muttering and giving dirty looks as they pass... I am very very easily hurt/upset by other peoples words, expressions etc. so would have to prepare for that....

Lastly, I have to consider my adopted cat Abby.. she is my first priority... I love her so much ! I would never ever get rid of her - a pet is a life long commitment - not just a 'when you feel like it' pet, or 'until I e.g. move, find a boyfriend etc. Pet', - she has had such a rough life as a stray, early pregnancy and health issues. I would need to be sure that she could handle living with a dog first.. she is fairly young however - so might adapt.

There is so much to consider before I could go ahead with a service dogs... but I know *without a doubt* it would improve my daily living - I would so love to be able to have a service dog, for the company, support and help it could provide me...

Thank you all for the advice and support.

Meg.

Meg,

I am new here. I saw your post yesterday but could not reply because someone was describing the same type of problems I have.

I also get confused and can't think clearly when I get overstimulated. Once the short circuit starts it is a cycle that has to run it's course. It is like everything gets mingled together thoughts, emotions, hearing, vision, pressure and I would not try to eat or drink during these times. Very disorienting and I get angry too.

I am not normally an angry person either and I am pretty sensitive to other people's behaviors towards each other or me. So many times if I get angry because of the overstimulated I feel bad for being angry "for no reason".

For me this is increasing with my age and taking less to start the shortcircuit. I keep making my world smaller and controlling my environment more but I don't want to end up being someone who does not leave my home. I am also looking into a service dog to help with this. I have other disabilities too but this one is probably the only one that is so out of control I can't get a handle on it.

Thanks for stepping out there and asking for help - you helped me by asking. I was trying to figure out how to ask similar questions.

Thank you everyone else for replying to her too.

TK

Hi written.lady,

Thank you so much for your reply - its good ..(not good, that's not really the right word.... but you know what I mean!) to hear i'm not alone in what's going on with this.
I completely understand when you say you are not an angry person - and are empathetic towards others - but when things get past the tipping point and everything bombards you... well... there's no going back - maybe it's 'weak' on my part to act like I don't have some kind of control over my actions - but it honestly seems that way - my thoughts Jam up and I just scream and cry and flail about, or try to run and get as far away from everything that's causing me 'pain.' It honestly seems to me, once I loose it or 'hulk', that im only a passenger along for the unpleasant ride... sometimes as i'm nearing the end of a meltdown im able to get a quick throught in there of - "oh sh*t ! what have I done! I totally didn't mean to go off at that e.g. my mum, my boyfriend - nonono! but I almost always can't express this, after I explode and "meltdown", I tend to then go into "shutdown" and just sit there, kind of numb, exhausted, with no thoughts in my head at all (which is the only time that I don't thinking). Eventually I'm able to go and do damage control ... which is always a terrible thing to have to do.

I talked this over with my O.T - and she did say that it was called a "meltdown" - she said that its when your mind thinks that everything is equally important - everything must be taken in and noticed at once - and the brain and body cant handle it - it's painful and too much! the anger is a "fight" response, and the trying to get away is a "flight" response.

Together we've made an 'plan of action' covering what we need to work on next year. I'm feeling slightly more hopeful.

Also - *yes*! written.lady - I completely understand what you are talking about - when you say it seems to be getting worse with age.. i still young..ishh, at 25, but already in the last few years I've noticed my tolerance for dealing with sensory stuff is very low - and "short-circuiting" (great way to put it) more. I'm sorry you are struggling with other disabilities too, it can certainly add to stress levels!
A service dog might be a good idea - not only are dogs fantastic company, but a service dog can help you extend your world, and stop it from getting too small. Defintley worth looking into. I would love to be able to have the assitance of a service dog... but the more I think about it, the less likely I think it will be as an option, if I want to work with animals.

I'm really glad my post helped you out a bit

Meg.