I'm 37, my bf turns 40 in a few weeks. He has SPD.
I cannot get him to clean himself or his clothing regularly. I'm really not sure what to do about it. I know when I point out that he's smelly, it hurts his feelings. I was at the hospital a few days ago, and noticed the nurses looking strangely at him. I realized what they were seeing. A slight man with crazy hair, dirty, stained clothes, and he smelled really funky. Throw in the profound, repeating stutter, and his usual over-loud speech... those nurses were mistaking him for something he's not!
I am most concerned with the smell. That is a hindrance to intimacy, and needs to be handled.
Also, I keep telling myself that I shouldn't worry about whathey other people see. Still, people treat you based on how they judge you. I don't want people to treat this dear man, who I strongly respect, poorly. I mean some of our friends joke that he looks like a terrorist or like Charles Manson, but it's not a joke, and when he used to tour doing sound work. He regularly got pulled aside by TSA.
Why won't he take care of his body. Is this basic hygiene issue an SPD thing?