Ben
Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Dec 2013
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Hello everyone. I am a 32 year old guy who currently has an Aspergers diagnosis, but I have been on Social Security Disability since I turned 18 so in my personal opinion, I am a bit worse off than most people with Aspergers. At least the ones who find it a trendy thing to be so they self label themselves, all the while really having no significant problems socializing or otherwise dealing with daily life. So I consider myself to be High Functioning Autistic rather than Aspergers due to the stupidity surrounding a lot of people labeling themselves as that. It's a clinical diagnosis, not a high school clique. Plus like I said, I am clearly worse off than such people.
I have pretty much always had sensory defensiveness, especially tactile.
I was a biter until I was around 9 years old. If another kid grabbed onto me on the playground, I tended to bite them as a defensive response. I had to have tags cut out of shirts. I'm mostly better about that now, depending on the tag. I still have significant tactile sensory problems. I do not like to be grabbed or touched without permission. Even then, it's very uncomfortable.
When I was a kid, I loved to give hugs but then in my early to mid teens, I was attacked several times by adults so I think that's what killed that for me. Now I'm uncomfortable about hugs, even though I can tolerate them, even if it's almost painful to feel. Between that and other problems I had in my teens, it caused me to withdraw socially a lot more and to simply avoid people for my own well being.
To give an idea of how hypersensitive I am tactile wise, I was once sitting in my 90-something year old grandma's kitchen (mom's foster mother) and she was a rather frail little old lady, and she gave me a pat on the upper back/lower neck and it felt like I was hit with a brick.
Very light touch also is intolerable. I often feel itchy (such as right now when I'm typing this) due to the shirt I have on. I don't know why it bugs me more sometimes than others.
I also have audible related sensory issues but not as bad as I did when I was a kid. Or at least, I can mostly cope with it better now.
I still have no-holds-barred screaming, stomping, throwing things melt downs which I hate and am ashamed of, yet they happen. In extreme cases, I will beat myself on the head with my fists. As weird as it sounds, it actually feels good when in such a state of melting down. The sensation is actually somehow calming... go figure.
I do live independently and currently live in an old motorhome I bought and fixed up. I'm in Southern Arizona right now and have been for over a month. I'm waiting out the winter season before I continue on into California.
I am eventually going to be settling in the Pacific Northwest. My ideal place is the Seattle area but I may take something else like Bellingham in the meantime, since I can't be too picky about public housing. I can always move to my ideal place later on when something there becomes available.
I am hoping that perhaps I can find an OT or somebody up there who can actually do me some good for once, not just give me meds and/or tell me to simply change how I act.
I noticed that the "how to introduce yourself" topic had this:
5. SPD doesn't run your life! What are you or your child's gifts? Interests ?
In a lot of ways for me, it does run my life. I find almost everything stressful in daily life. Getting out of bed is stressful. Going to bed is stressful. Deciding what to wear is stressful. And so on. That's why I am on disability, I guess. Medications make me worse pretty much so I don't bother with any. The last set I was on for stress and anxiety, I melted down so bad I broke my hand beating on the steering wheel driving down the highway at 55mph. In the 10+ years I had been off meds, I had plenty of melt downs but not any bad enough that made me break my hand. I began weening myself off of the meds within a couple of days, dropped in without an appointment and informed the Dr I was seeing about what happened and told her I was quitting the meds (gradually) and I would come in for one more appointment to wrap things up with her, which I did.
Anyhow, I do have interests. I spend a lot of time on the computer out of isolation issues. But I am also extremely mechanically minded. I have done a lot of auto repair on my own vehicles and for my mom on hers. I am also rather handy with plumbing and electrical, having done extensive work on my motorhome including very difficult troubleshooting of wire harness damage hidden in the body someplace, and patching around the damaged area for the exterior lights that were blowing fuses when activated. I have also done plumbing and minor electrical repairs to the house I had as well as to my mom's house. (Replacing light fixtures, outlets, light switches, replacing a toilet, replacing soldered on water valves with compression ones, etc)
Well I don't know what else to say right now so there you go.
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12-16-2013, 04:14 PM |
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LAC1961
Regular
Posts: 299
Joined: Jul 2012
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Welcome Ben. I hope this sites is encouraging to you. I hope you will share your ideas as well. We all benefit from each other's insights.
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12-16-2013, 10:27 PM |
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