I am so very grateful for your response. Your story is so very similar to mine. My son seems to have more academic problems though which has brought on many meltdowns at home and in the classroom. He also has very low self-esteem because he is starting to recognize he has trouble. He tries so hard but has to constantly re-learn things.

My son has also starting seeing a social worker within his school which has helped with some social situations he's had trouble with. He is eager to have or make friends but he gets emotional quickly and his processing is very slow so kids his age don't seem to have respect for him. It seems like he will have some success at making a friend but then they kind of ditch him because they start to notice he is different. My heart breaks because he has cried to me "why do my friends all go away?" I feel like he is a bully target and is easily teased which brings on many emotional meltdowns. I can totally relate with you in taking one step forward and two steps back. As soon as I feel like we have made some progress, I get a glimps of his handwriting journal or I see how much more his peers are progressing academically, socially and verbally and I start to panic about his future.

I have been reading so much more about this disorder and I too have seen some traits in my younger son but not as severe. He has more problems with transitions, new situations and is a sensory seeker. He had minor trouble with clothing, vomiting when food did not look appealing and meltdowns. My younger son also seems to need to know where I am at all times. He just turned 6 so I was thinking it was just because he was young and still wanted his mom. Academically he has been doing very well so I too have not felt the need to seek help for him.

Then there is me. I had many problems growing up with seperation, transitions and social situations. I guess I never thought that I might have it because I did not have the problems with clothes or being touched but I do have a hard time with loud noises sometimes. I have trouble speaking my thoughts and organizing my sentences to this day. I do much better at writing.

I have so much guilt about what I haven't done to help my son. I keep wishing I would have held him back in kindergarten. I felt he could have been help back due to his immaturity but he was so tall and big for his age. He is still on the tall side but has evened out more with his peers and now I have regrets. He seems to get along better with younger kids and I think he would have fit in better. I also have a reoccurring thought that I caused my older son to have SPD. I did not know I was pregnant and I drank alcohol at different times during the third through fifth weeks. I have read that this can cause SPD. Of course as soon as I found out I did not drink again and I did not drink alcohol with my second son. I spoke with a docotor who specializes in SPD and he assured me that it is more than likely not the cause but I feel like I will never really know and it is very disturbing for me. I have felt a lot of guilt and depression because of this. I realize I need to get rid of this negative energy and use all of my energy toward helping my sons. I am now reading some books as well as more counseling. Thank you so much for the tips and books suggestions. I just purchased some new books and the Questions and Answers for teachers was one of them. I plan to make copies and give it to his teachers.

Thanks for listening and thank you for your help and support!