Hello. I am happy to have found this site. You can all call me Jess. About 3 years ago I was diagnosed with SPD. About a year and a half later my son was diagnosed with Autism and significant SPD. After I had gotten my diagnosis I guess I didn't really realize what that meant.

I thought, well shoot now I know why turtle necks make me want to murder someone. Or why when more than one person is talking it can be hard to filter out noise. When I was diagnosed my son was nearly 1 yr old. I guess I kind of just focused on him ignoring my problems because I had an answer. But I hadn't realized I needed to act on that answer if I wanted my life o get better. I didn't realize how much it governed my very existence. Im now years later left questioning everything. Not knowing where to go or what to do.

My son is now 4 and I also have a 6 month old daughter. Its really hard sometimes with the kids. My son is always loud, bless his sweet litttle heart, and of course babies cry and squeal. Ive realized my biggest problem is noise, then touch. They are probably the ones that effect me the most negatively. When they both get to crying sometimes I find myself in a ball crying with my hands over my ears. Should I get ear plugs?

My SPD has now gotten to the point I'm a hermit. I dont want to live my house. It feels so uncomfortable, like I'm super anxious and want to jump out of my skin or peel it off in layers. I know that gross but its hard to define how gross it does indeed feel. I've realized its affected every relationship Ive ever had. Its literally shaped who I am. I didn't used to give it much thought. But its gotten worse I think...can that happen? I don't know. My therapist is now discussing testing me for adult Autism.

Truth be told. I dont mind avoiding crowded loud places, or turtlenecks (who invented those evil things anyways). What has been driving me up the wall and causing me a lot of depression and sometimes even suicidal thoughts, has been how much it takes away from me being a good mom. I know Im a good mom, but I feel I fall so short of where I could be. My SPD makes me meltdown in front of my children! I hate it! Please Please anyone have any advice.