1. Visual aids tend to help some kids a lot. Processing sound is a lot harder than processing vision for a lot of people, especially processing sound and then converting that to what you are supposed to do. Write up picture charts of routines, what do you need to do to get ready in the morning? Draw out pictures, post it on the wall, you have a reference there for looking at in the morning.

2. If he needs to spin, bounce, etc, then find a way to have him do that. Get a mini trampoline, and bounce in the morning, and then spin together (maybe on one of those little spinny wheel things), before you do something important. Get the spinny-needs out. They are needs, fill them. Don't expect them to stop, do provide a trampoline instead of an ill mother to compress his joints against.

3. You have hobbies. You have other things you do besides caring for your son. I don't care that it doesn't feel like it at the moment, you do. FIND some way to do that. Find some way that a grandparent of your son takes care of him for an evening and you and your wife can spend it together. Find some way that an aunt can take care of him for an afternoon, and you can work on a hobby. If you are this stressed, it is absolutely necessary, that you find some way to get a break, sometimes. Not necessarily frequently, not necessarily much, but caring for people is stressful, and if you cannot remember anything besides caring for someone, and are stressed and upset and think that's your entire life - even if you love that person - you need to take a break for yourself before it starts turning into a problem. It doesn't need to be right now, you can find a way so that while he's at school you're doing other things even (even if that means taking vacation time). Just, remember to care for yourself too. It's really easy to forget in a situation like this, and with the amount of stress you are showing here, you need to dispel it and remember that you do have other things, no matter how much your son is awesome as well as a struggle.

4. Have you checked other OTs for ones that take insurance? I went to two OTs and they both took my insurance, however I've seen others that won't take mine. the one I'd love to go to doesn't take mine, but takes others.

5. How much research about SPD have you done? Would it help to research more and do more at home stuff? There are a lot of things that can help - like the simple suggestion of getting a trampoline.

6. How long was it since the holidays? How much of this is change of routines? How much of this is needing mental stimulation? Mental stimulation could help, he could be bored in certain ways and unable to express it. Routine changes are frequently a challenge. Home could also just be sensorily a more challenging place.