Hi there. Wow, sounds rough. I've certainly dealt with my fair share of auditory issues over the years. If you haven't seen an occupational therapist about SPD yet, I'd recommend taking a look into doing that, as they can often give you some good suggestions and access to tools that can help with all kinds of sensory issues, including auditory ones.

As for avoiding noise in my daily life the methods I fall back on the most often including putting in earbuds or earplugs to help block out of drown out noise. Of course, this solution isn't good when you are actually trying to listen to what someone is telling you.

As for auditory processing (making sense of what's being said), what's helped me the most has actually been the interactive metronome and listening therapy (SAMONAS), both tools you may be able to find at an OT clinic.

I agree with you though; it's much tougher to get things over the phone. I am not a big phone person myself. I tend to avoid it when not necessary, haha. Hope you're able to find some suggestions here that help you out.