Kate, at first I just wanted to reach out to say I understand how frustrating it is when you post to a support forum and don't get answers, but l do have a similar experience -- but not a solution. Unfortunately, with so many manifestations of this disorder, some behaviors will only be know to a few, if any. Second, I know how embarrassing it is when your child is hurting others in day care. My Bobby has hit or pushed children in day care, and it always carries the worrisome possibility that if the behavior escalates, he might be expelled.

When my son was about 10-15 months old, I would give him "horsey rides" around the house on my back. But I had to be very careful about doing so, because he would grab my hair in both his hands and refuse to let go. Indeed, if I didn't have another adult around to help me (and occasionally when I did), I would have to reach back and rap him on the head with my knuckles to make him cry to get him to let go. People who helped me said he appeared to be in a kind of trance state when this occurred. This was one of the first warnings I had of his sensory processing issues, but he wasn't being seen by an OT yet. And he outgrew it before we ever developed a better response.

Would your school tolerate allowing him to chew (sugarless) gum as an accommodation? I wonder whether having his mouth busy might deter him from using biting as a response to frustration?

Wishing you well!

Maggie