This last post you put up sounds like it, it sounds like because of no help for so long you had to try and find ways to cope on your own. I am sorry for that. If he won't let you change the toy bins get contact paper and put it on the fonts of them. The colors are too over stimulating for you, then you need to do something about it! It is sad that so many people as children went undiagnosed and have had to find their own ways to cope as they got older. I have an 8 year old son with SPD and my boyfriend does as well, he is 50 and didn't realize what was wrong with him until he met me! The play mat, get a area rug to put over it, or paint it a solid color!
Have you seen an OT? Tried weighted blankets for sleeping or in the car? Check out what some of the other adults post on here and maybe you can take some ideas from them. My son could never be hugged until he started in therapy when he was younger, he still has to be asked if it is ok to touch him, mostly by other people not so much me. He cannot handle a lot of noise around him, he eats lunch at school in a classroom, some smells to him are horrible, the sock thing! OMG! I have been there with him!!!! Clothing textures huge issue. You will be ok, you now have an idea of what it could possibly be and with having that information you can find ways to help yourself so you can feel better!!!! This is a great site and the people on here are wonderful. You will be ok!!!!