Ok, i've been trying something for a while now. It is working best for us. We count. When he has his meltdowns we go to the room and count. Sometimes he wants to count by himself. Other times we count together. All i can say is he is in a calmer state after counting. Sometimes he counts while jumping or banging his hands like a drum but always counting. I think its been good for both of us. Of corse he doesn't want to count. He is after all in the middle of a meltdown but we do not move forward unless we go to his room and count. I'm going to try counting backwards together but not just yet. My only thought is, he is 6. I hope he will not hate math because of it. Sounds silly yes but i worry about what will affect him and how. Anyway thanks for your support.