(01-29-2013, 04:05 PM)frubsdad Wrote: Hello all,
I was hoping for a little advise here. One question I am constantly asking myself...Is my little guy being defiant or is this his SPD. For example, last night we were all getting ready for dinner. The one time of day where all of us are together as a family. Wifey made a great meal for her and I and heated up some leftover pizza for the kids. We thought....alright a dinner without complaints in that my little guy likes plain cheese pizza. WRONG!!!

He asked for a cookie about 15 minutes before dinner...I told him....OK...one small cookie before dinner....but you have to eat your dinner. "OK Dad" he says. My wife laughed and obviously knew I opened pandoras box.

Dinner is on and ready...I call the kids in and he doesn't want to eat pizza. He wants cookies...I tell him no...but if he eats his dinner he can have a cookie after dinner. He then says....No I want just one cookie now. I reply...."after dinner pal if you eat your dinnner." He then begins to repeat himself to us....just one cookie...just one cookie..etc...etc.

I then get down on his level and tell him he has to sit at the table with us and eat dinner. He says...."I will eat pizza in the playroom." uhjhhhh....thats a big no from me. I tell him he has to eat with the family. He then tries to pull his plate off th e table to take into the play room. I kindly tell him no and push it aside.

He begins to meltdown and I take him into the other room to calm down. Once he calms down he comes to the table and tries to get his plate to take into the play room. I kindly tell him no..he then begins to throw a fit. I carry him up to his room and we sit in there while he calms down. I gave him the option to sit at the table and eat his dinner w the family or go to the playroom and play nice while we eat dinner. He chose the second option and went to the playroom to play quietly.

How can we determine if he is being defiant or it is his SPD? Sometimes it is difficult to tell which is which if this makes any sense. I know he was really tired at the end of the day yesterday and sometimes when he is tired his wick is far shorter.
Thank you for any advice,
Frubsdad

---

Hi Dad, I read your post, and I could really relate. I have spent so much energy trying to determine whether my kids behaviors were sensory related or just plain old kid stuff...I believe that it is a bit of both. After all , while your child has sensory issues, he still is a child who will pass through all the normal trials and challenges that every other child goes through. The difference is, that your child has sensory issues, and most likely those sensory issues are going to make your job a little harder. The only thing that this dynamic changes is how you deal with it. You still have to deal with the undesirable behavior. I don't worry so much anymore about whether it is sensory related or just typical kid stuff. It really does not matter. Focus more on the skills you have learned that reach your kid. My twin are seven, and I have had to learn "out of the box' ways in order to teach them, mold them. Regardless whether the behavior is sensory related or typical kid stuff, you still have to deal with it. The only thing that changes is your approach. Do what you know works whether you think it is sensory related or otherwise. When I read your post, it seems to me that you are on the right path...keep doing that. By the way, I have a bolg that I have written to share with other parents my hands on experience with my twin boys. I know how difficult, scary, and confusing it is to raise kids with sensory issues. I have written my blog in hopes that by sharing I can help other. qannie47.blogspot.com
Hope this helps qannie47