I think as time goes on tighten the ropes a bit so to speak, I just always throw out there reminders. You cannot stay in your house. I remember dreading going out to dinner, I would have to pack a suitcase of things to bring to get him to sit until we scarfed down our food. I have friends who have children with Autism and they have taught them to "blow away" the meltdown so they literally blow when they feel it coming on. You need to find coping skills that work for him. I have found that SPD kids are visual so he might be able to picture that in his head. YOu can never stay in the house, we all have to face life and he needs to learn to face it he just needs some accomidations. You have to always remember to put yourself in his shoes. It has to be horrible to feel that way all the time, if you read some of the posts that the adults on here that have SPD you can get a better perspective of what your child is going through. Someone posted on here ( I can't remember which thread) but it was really good, it is like wearing a scratchy wool sweater all day everyday but amplified, everything is amplified and actually causes them pain. There is a post on here regarding headphones that someone put on, that can help you a lot regarding his sensitivity to sound. There are just some things that you might always have to make accomidations for but teach him the coping tools to deal with it appropriately. When it gets too loud for my son he will scream! ( That's always lovely!) What I was told by my son's OT, once they have the melt down it is too late. It takes a long time to come back from a meltdown. SO teaching how to cope with a situation before it comes on is something that would be important, but not staying home. Think about what causes his meltdowns, you said at the mall the other day. That is a overwhelming place to be. So many things coming at him, the sounds, lights, colors, so figuring out something that will make him feel safe and secure while there, block out the sound, Stop in a quiet store that maybe he likes after walking around for a bit, a book store, coffee shop have a treat. My son used to sob when he saw the big red Target symbol. lol But I am sorry we were going in, now it is his favorite store! lol
I think you are parenting him right, you love him and you are looking for ways to help him that is more then anything that you could ever do! I think learning more about SPD will help you rather than a parenting book, learn how to set up his sensory diet ( not food), learn about what is happening to him then look for different therapy tools you can do at home to help him out. Most you can make on your own and do not need to buy. Once the OT kicks in you will get a wealth of information, changes will happen but sensory overload will happen first. It took my son three months to transition into third grade. IT was awful he was a mess, but now he is doing awesome again! Growth spurts I was told can cause a sensory overload, so sometimes when you think all is well.... BAM!!!
Today we are going tot he mall with some friends to go to the glow golf inside. I have weights on my chest, he gets totally frustrated when the ball does not go in the hole, but you know what too bad, we need to learn. Also, my friends daughter has SPD with a sprinkle of a learning delay but she is on the completely opposite of him and is very slow moving, very slow thinking, and talks silly nonsense. It makes him crazy! He is fortunate to be highly intelligent and cannot understand why she talks the way she does because it does not make sense. So between the golfing and that it should be the longest hour of my life!~ lol, but they love to be together and are excited about golfing! Go figure! So before we go I have to remind him to have nice words to her and we will not always get the ball in on the first try.
So again I have written you a novel. lol So my final words are...... do not ever worry about what other people think about you or your child's behavior. Don't worry about if someone is judging you. You are doing what you should do, you sound like you are a GREAT mommy and don't listen to anyone who judges what you do. Your only concern is your son and (pardon my French) but screw those who have something to say or stare! They have NO idea what you go through on a daily basis. We aren't given more then we can handle and we are given these special kids for a reason. My son has given me days where I fell over with exhaustion, but he has given me more laughs, beautiful pictures,and jars full of dead bugs and baggies of slugs!!!!! I would not trade any of it for a child who can sit still in a restaurant or play on a football team. You keep on doing what you are doing!!! We are all here for you anytime you feel overwhelmed or just need to vent! Have a great day, have to get ready to go for my golfing fun! lol ( sorry I am so long winded! )