I get so frustrated with myself when the words I'm hearing get lost. I get so much anxiety when I have to talk over the phone cause I lose the key tool of being able to read their lips to decode what they are really saying. If I tell them to repeat themselves they think its because Im deaf so they get louder. Volume is yet another issue. Also, I cant stand crowded places because I can get away from all the compounding voices and sounds. I wish I had a better way of coping with these issues. Any suggestions?

Hi there. Wow, sounds rough. I've certainly dealt with my fair share of auditory issues over the years. If you haven't seen an occupational therapist about SPD yet, I'd recommend taking a look into doing that, as they can often give you some good suggestions and access to tools that can help with all kinds of sensory issues, including auditory ones.

As for avoiding noise in my daily life the methods I fall back on the most often including putting in earbuds or earplugs to help block out of drown out noise. Of course, this solution isn't good when you are actually trying to listen to what someone is telling you.

As for auditory processing (making sense of what's being said), what's helped me the most has actually been the interactive metronome and listening therapy (SAMONAS), both tools you may be able to find at an OT clinic.

I agree with you though; it's much tougher to get things over the phone. I am not a big phone person myself. I tend to avoid it when not necessary, haha. Hope you're able to find some suggestions here that help you out.

A straightforward thing for helping with auditory processing and the phone is using a headset that lets you listen with both ears instead of just one.

The phone thing has been an issue for me as well. I've worked in a call center, which was difficult but better than where I am now, and have had to listen to the customer while not 'listening' to the others around me. As a child, I learned auditory focus. Similar to tunnel vision only with hearing. It takes practice and even now it still takes concentration. One thing I've been able to do is focus my hearing to a conversation taking place out of hearing range (for normal hearers) and relaying it to someone I'm talking to. Neat party trick and opens the door to help explain SPD to others.

Wow, I'm always amazed at how every post and it's replies sound so familiar that I could have written it. I work in a very loud "quick paced restaurant" (you order like it's fast food, but the service is akin to what you'd get at a restaurant) and literally all day I'm straining to hear what people are ordering over the extremely loud environment. I succeed only because I have memorized the menu, and therefore I only need to "kind of" hear what people are saying. The only issues arise when people ask me off-the-wall random questions; then I have to actually lean in and sometimes even close my eyes to try to focus only on that person's voice. (And I always have to double check if someone asked for 'Hi-C' or 'iced tea' to drink.)
It's another problem when people speak too quickly or without getting my attention first; when my bosses try to give me directions quickly without looking at me... like they walk by and say my name, followed by a blur of words that I can't understand at all until I turn around and look at them and have them repeat themselves. Or, in another common case, when my boyfriend says anything while tv is on, or while I'm involved in a task. I sometimes have to ask him to repeat himself up to 4 times, which is incredibly frustrating for him which makes me feel bad for not being able to understand what he's saying. Volume isn't really the issue, but proper annunciation is. When people mumble or slur their words together in any way, I cannot understand them. Sometimes I wonder how many things I've misheard without knowing it... I can't tell you how many times I've gotten "in trouble" because someone specifically told me to do some kind of task, but I thought I had heard them say that they were the one doing the task. If I can't tell immediately if something is a question or a statement, then there's an added several moments of deciphering added on before I can respond.
I haven't been to an occupational therapist yet. I'm really hoping they can help with some of this... Good luck to you.

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Does anyone else have trouble understanding anyone with an accent other than the one you're used to? Specifically Scottish and Haitian accents, I cannot understand a single word. I feel terrible about it, especially because I get very frustrated when I can't understand something or someone, and I fear it probably makes me sound racist when I flat out say (as politely as possible) "I'm really sorry, but I can't understand what you're saying." I actually have to get a coworker to take orders from people with accents sometimes because I just can't understand what they're saying no matter how hard I try.

Wow. This is me too. I can't STAND talking on the phone because I have such a difficult time understanding and deciphering the sounds. Volume is fine. Deciphering is so hard. I had no idea this was SPD. I thought it was brain damage from all my youthful party years.