Hi everyone.

I haven't been here much recently, but just wanted to share so that any new parents coming through can take heart.

We started the year in a dreadful place. My bright, beautiful boy was just not coping. He was in OT, but nothing we were doing seemed to help him. We were having meltdowns almost every Wednesday, with shutdown happening afterwards.
The feedback we got from the grade 1 teacher after the first term (we have 4 terms per year here), was that after wednesday he would just sit and not do anything in class, and he was going to need to improve a lot and would need a lot of help if he wasn't going to face the possibility of having to repeat the year.

This was very hard to swallow, especially considering he started the year already reading (they only teach them to read in 1st grade here), and was doing mental math at end of year level...

I tried to work with the OT, and asked for feedback and progress and asked how what she was doing with him was helping the areas he needed to work on...
I phrased it nicely, and tried a few times to engage with her and try find out what more I could do to help Matthew.
She was not at all receptive, and every time I asked she would act as though she though it was cute that I had a question, but I should please bow down, and out, in awe of her standing as a qualified OT.
The other thing that didn't sit well was that she insisted that we needed to be much stricter with him - we're pretty strict, and he's our eldest, so I guess we follow the typical theme of being the hardest on him. So I couldn't see how that was going to help him with behavioural issues stemming from sensory overload. (glad I didn't go ahead and follow that!)

Needless to say, when Matt came home a few times saying how she had shouted at him, I said enough was enough. She had also refused to give any kind of indication of how what she was doing with him would help him, or when she expected us to start seeing an improvement.

With that, we fired her, and found the most amazing OT ever (in my estimation anyway!). She is from here but worked in the UK for 10 years where the norm is to allow parents to sit in on sessions. This was exactly what I needed as well - to see what she did, to be able to ask why and how it would help, so I could carry it into our home activities and learn what stimulates, what calms, what to do to strengthen weak areas, etc.

Matt has been seeing her for about 7 months now, and she has said that apart from putting him on a therapeutic listening course, that she wants to get in the UK in December when she goes for a holiday, we should start stretching him between sessions and see how he does with a view to weaning him off and just reviewing at difficult times when we can cluster a few therapy sessions...

I am so excited and happy!

The difference at school has not been miraculous - I still feel he's not performing anywhere close to the same level he does at home - BUT there has been no more mention of him repeating. He is ahead in reading and is close to having read 200 books from school this year - his teacher has said that he is the only child in her class who will get through her entire crate of reading material - he will finish everything. Maths seems to be a problem at school - at home he is doing really well when we test him in the car to keep him occupied instead of irritating his sister. He also attends extra maths classes where he is doing grade 2 work, so I'm not sure what's going on at school.

But - last term the teacher didn't ask us in to discuss his report - he had improved so much accross the board she had nothing to talk to us about!

So... dear parents... if you get to this, and you're feeling desparate and can't see what you can do, here's what I would recommend:

Breathe. Wait a while. Be involved, and do what you can, but let the professionals do their thing as well.

But mostly: Breathe. You will get there.

All the best to all of you.

Hi. Thanks for sharing your very encouraging story here. Is it ok to ask where you are? I am in Belgium and finding it hard to find my way around the system here to get some support for my nearly 7-year-old, who is also likely to be asked to repeat the school year. He is in grade 2.

Thank you for sharing Kate. You've given wonderful advice, and I'm so happy for the improvement your son is experiencing.

Hi Kate - fantastic news re: your son!
I repeated grade 4 when I was a child - I'm sure it was very difficult decision for my parents to make,
I am so pleased though to hear your boy is doing so much better!
What a great thing you did for him - you could see his progress stalling, and you took the initiative to find someone who works with him so well - I bet for him - having someone who he feels really understands him and has a much calmer approach (and doesn't shout at him!) makes a great difference as well

Is there any way that the O.T could observe your son in a classroom situation to see what might be holding him back from his full potential?

Great news though - keep us all posted - and good luck