Hi All! I'm new to the board. I'm a mom to a 4.5 year old little boy who was diagnosed with SPD when he was 2 years old. He was in OT for two years. We took a 6 month break because he had to be admitting to a pediatric feeding program to help him eat. He would have chosen to starve rather than eat, which was becoming a problem when he stopped growing. Now that the program is over, we thought we had jumped through the majority of our hurdles. HA! Yeah riiiiight! Six months out of OT and starting a new school, and he experienced a SEVERE regression!!! Least to say, we are back in OT, as well as behavior therapy/counseling. He does well in school; he rises to the social norm. But when he gets home, he unleashes on me. It's like it's all he can do to survive the day, and then he just releases all of that on me as soon as he gets home He is very sensitive when it comes to discipline, but I do not believe in not discipling due to his SPD. I need to find a gentle way that I can discipline him but not send him into an emotional meltdown that takes 30 minutes to recover from. If I send him to his room or put him in time out, he starts biting himself or hitting himself. If I count (1-2-3), he totally freaks out. If I raise my voice or change my tone to a stern tone of voice, he loses it to the point he can't stop crying. It just accelerates to the point where he almost makes himself throw up. I'm at a loss!!!! What do you guys do???? I am trying positive reinforcement right now - he gets 10 minutes of iPad game time with 1 hour of good behavior. It's exhausting, but he is so unstable that it takes 1 hour intervals just to give him an opportunity for success. Any advice?

I'm going through something really similar with my 5 year old. He makes it through the day in Kindergarten, but is having marathon tantrums at home. He also does it on the way home from school, sometimes just lying in the street refusing to move while screaming his head off. He has also had a major potty regression. It's a nightmare. And, he is also really sensitive.

I don't know what sets your son off, but with my son it's anytime I say no to anything. I spoke with his counselor at school who suggested I try not to use the word 'no', and try and come up with reasoning that turns him off. For example, if he asks for ice cream (the ice cream truck parks itself outside the school) I might say that I think the ice cream in the truck isn't very clean (he's totally freaked out by 'germs') and say that we should go home and have a snack there since I know the stuff at home is clean. I also, when he is at a calm moment, explain to him that when he screams like that it makes people really unhappy to be around him at that time and they find it really upsetting. I then remind him how fun he can be and how people really enjoy being around him otherwise, then ask if he thinks he can try not to scream like that. I also make a big deal when he responds without melting down or is able to stop himself from a major meltdown. I tell him how great it was and how grown up he is acting. This all works somewhat . I'm hoping it eases up soon.

My son is 12 now, and he has SPD issues. When I think about my son in school, and how they have cut back recess time so much in comparisson to when his brother (3yrs older) was in those grades, I know that since I am not hearing stuff from school, he is highly containing himself. When they get home - its their zone - to feel safe, to be themselves. Its like an explosion of pent up energy, physical, and mental. I have SPD as a 42yr old, and I can relate to how terrible it is, going into public, and keeping myself under wraps, about the senses that are assulted - just at the grocery store. Its a nightmare - Imagine what its like to be one of these little guys - who have no choice, or outlet, in school, and they cant articulate, what exact senses are being assulted yet, for how many hours??? How do I help my son? well - he has at least an hour, if not more, to be active as soon as he gets off the bus - he needs that time - to get it out. My other son, would come in, and I could make him do his homework, no problem. My husband expected me to do the same with the younger one - but I just knew that would never work. I have an extreme advantage because of my SPD, to understand him. Sports things are good to get the physical energy out for sure. My son will kick the soccerball around, or shoot some hoops, and I used to play catch with him. In the house, a wii active game - or games of catch can still be done with foam balls, or blow up one, even balloons are a great substitute. Im sure you get the idea. Of course, my son can also have more of mental build up too. So there are types of games that I let him zone out on for a certain amount of time - that brings him to a calm settled spot. Things that either have a calming repetition, or things that he must concentrate on - but wants to, and loves to do.
Main thing is - they need that period after keeping themselves under wraps, and home is their comforting, safe place. I am lucky to have the same issues as an adult, because I know what it feels like, and I have worse SPD than my son, for the last 4 years. We talk about it, and how things are, and I have tried to give him different sesory outlets, or safety zones in the home.
Just an idea for parents of kids with SPD, to check out - adult stories, since we are far more capable of expressing what different things, that seem so minor to others, are triggering us - since at 42, I had to pinpoint many of these things to start having a life again. Its far more complicated that just trying. There is a whole lot of strategizing. Outlets are key to these guys, I think.

I hope this helps a little - keep us posted! stacey

I know that when I used to use time out it did not go over well. I have since begun using a warning chart, sort of like the stop light scenerio. That works great. Yelling hurts, auditory issues. One hour might be too long, maybe gradually work up to an hour. Picture cards, maybe he is beginning to freak out because he knows the yelling will be coming next. I know this sounds like corporal punishment, but my old OT thought it was the best idea ever, I make my son do pushups (he has only done 5 so far)! lol The deep pressure is good for him and the hard work! ahahahahah Actually now I just say are you ready to do the 5 push ups you wil owe me and he is like NO! lol . I have to do homework with him sometimes 15 min on 15 min off, so maybe instead of being good for an hour start with 15 or 30 min. even 5 if you have to get the point across. baby steps then lead up to the overstimulating steps gradually , won't be noticed as much.

Thanks so much everyone! We just found out today that he is suffering from severe anxiety and migraines, in addition to the SPD, so that just adds to the melting pot. Those are two things I also have, so I understand how it feels. His pediatrician said it explains the sudden inability to cope. She also has a child with anxiety, so she remembers how bad it was before her child was treated. I'm just glad I'm not alone because most days it feels that way. Jack's teacher does the stoplight approach in her classroom, so it may be good for me to also incorporate that method into our home, since it would create more consistency. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the pushup idea!!!!!! We are also thinking about stepped up his OT to 2x week until he can get more stabilized. We'll see how things go! I certainly appreciate your input!

I just came online because I'm so discouraged about my daughter's behavior the last three weeks. When I found this post and replies it helped me feel a little better. My 5 y.o. daughter's behavior is so erratic it scares me. One minute happy, singing, playing and then I say it's time to eat or something, and she freaks out--screaming, kicking, throwing herself on the floor. Consequently, I put her in time out where she yells at us, shouts "I'm angry", if something is in reach she sometimes breaks it. Time outs had worked pretty well until the last few months. We have been investigating Salicylate sensitivity and are ready to try the Feingold diet in case her diet is contributing to the recent changes in her behavior. I also like the push ups idea and will give that a try. Her bad behavior is also at day care--daily, and only occasionally at school. For my daughter I don't think it's related to where she is because she's a sensory seeker, not avoider, and loves going anywhere and everywhere, so she doesn't put in much effort to staying a certain way at school. We do all kinds of physical activities throughout the day, as we always have, but the extreme behavior is very recent. When it comes right down to it she's acting defiant and out of control, which is new to us with her (had it with my son many years ago at age 14-16). I feel like I've hit a brick wall. We've tried everything to help her, and it all seems so fruitless sometimes. I hate SPD!!!

My son comes home with migraines too, not as often though since they took him out of the cafeteria and eats in a quiet room. I was just telling my friend today that when they come home from schol give them a break! She makes her daughter start right into her homework, she has an awful time, she is failing everything, can't remember her respoinsibilites etc... I told her when people come home from work they need a break, think of someone in her sitiuation, she just spent all day in school , struggling, then comes home and has to jump right back into it, and she is getting impatient with her. She might not speak to me agian, but I told her give her a break, not quite that nicely! ahahaha anyway... sometimes we have to do things 15 on 15 off. I always put myself in his shoes, I cannot fully understand what he is feeling, but I can sure try. I have never been so intune with someone in my life. We went and tried cub scouts tonight for the first time, becuase I was told to get him involved in social groups. Well this was the first night, of course we walk into the Halloween party with no costume. Anyway... the one leader I see her put her hand in his face and says " I don't want to hear you!" I said to him what did you say? ( canuse he can blurt things out sometimes) and he said I didn't say anything. So I went up to her and said what did he say, she said , 'He said aw man' I about lost it, but I did not, ( must have shown in my face) First I have never told either of my kids I don't want to hear them, ( even when I Don't want to lol) second, you put your hand in my son's face, she was like " I have five boys and I stop it before it starts" well I told her... " sorry but he has some underlying issues and sometimes he blurts tings out because he cannot control himself, if it is inapropriate I want him corrected appropriately, but he didn't do anything wrong. ' She looked a little frightened, lol she kept apoligizing to me over and over again. I don't care if you have 10 kids lady, I teach 38 kids on some days in a classroom, I have NEVER TOLD THEM I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THEM! Needless to say she is not his pack leader so we will go back and he loved it. I do beleive it will not happen again. anyway... now that I wrote a novel that does not pertain to this topic I am going to go! lol

Cheers to you for putting yourself in his shoes. I struggle with that myself. I'm usually like a pressure cooker. I go along doing pretty well, staying calm, redirecting her, reminding her to stay "just right". This can go on for several days, then I reach my tipping point, and "the last straw" happens, and I yell at her. Then, of course, I feel terrible. I taught her how to do push ups this morning in preparation for a melt down. When I told my husband about it, he liked it. It reminded him of his sister's discipline for her daughters. He said when they misbehaved she would send them to their room until they laughed out loud. Sometimes her oldest daughter would just mock her saying "ha, ha, ha". She would just reply, that's not very good laughing, you can do better than that. Eventually, they would start laughing and she would let them come out of their room. We've been married nearly 20 years, and he never told me about that. An interesting concept.

Well I had my own meltdown last night. I thought maybe I had my older son on the same page but appearantly he is still not! He sacred my SPD boy and did it while he had his dinner on his plate going to go and sit down and scared him so bad the food went flying. Well we all know how that goes over! So there went the evening! I pulled up the information regarding what his brother feels like ALL day long, what he just did to him blah blah blah. Then after all that I had to get my SPD kiddo to do his homework, well then he didn't care about anything, we fought to get it done, lets just say I woke up with a headache today! He has become so literal ( more than before) Cannot move along to the next thing until things are said EXACTLY as he sees them! LIke I asked him to lock the screen door, he would not until I agreed that it was a "glass door" . We aren't running to the store 'LIterally!" ugh! This goes on all day long. I can't even imangine how he functions in school with everything being so literal! Even the social worker called me and told me she noticed it this school year! Well have a good day talk to ya later!

LAC1961, I love the idea of time outs, until they laugh out loud - I think I am going to do that with my 2 boys, that routinely agitate each other (which then agitates me). I will make them go to an area, and tell them they cant do anything - until I hear them laugh together. It is my favorite sound they make - so it will soothe me too! What a great attitude, and idea, in the midst of stress!!!

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Hey Heather40 - my oldest son, pushes my younger spd ones buttons daily - sometimes I get through to the oldest - and I have to remind him from time to time - after all - he does not have the issue, like his brother. I could totally relate to your feelings, with your SPD boy, and his literal thoughts - my son goes through phases of it as well. He also gets stuck on some things - like a negative feeling - and it takes a while to move on from it. I have been in the situation with the homework. Sometimes - I decide to deal with it in the morning - because there is no hope in that evening. That works for us. I hope his literal phase will calm down soon for you - it can be frustrating - but I figure it is just part of who they are at the moment! stacey

(10-18-2012, 09:00 AM)heather40 Wrote: Well I had my own meltdown last night. I thought maybe I had my older son on the same page but appearantly he is still not! He sacred my SPD boy and did it while he had his dinner on his plate going to go and sit down and scared him so bad the food went flying. Well we all know how that goes over! So there went the evening! I pulled up the information regarding what his brother feels like ALL day long, what he just did to him blah blah blah. Then after all that I had to get my SPD kiddo to do his homework, well then he didn't care about anything, we fought to get it done, lets just say I woke up with a headache today! He has become so literal ( more than before) Cannot move along to the next thing until things are said EXACTLY as he sees them! LIke I asked him to lock the screen door, he would not until I agreed that it was a "glass door" . We aren't running to the store 'LIterally!" ugh! This goes on all day long. I can't even imangine how he functions in school with everything being so literal! Even the social worker called me and told me she noticed it this school year! Well have a good day talk to ya later!