Hi, Everyone,
My name is Jones and I'm mom to an amazing girl who is 10 years old, and 2 boys who are 8 and 6. After a meeting with a counselor on Saturday, I heard the words "Sensory Integration Issues" (as opposed to "defiant", "ADHD", "problem child", and "Challenging child") and immediately checked into it online. I'm pretty sure she is affected by SPD and I had already thought of it when she was only 6, but no one ever mentioned it (professionals) and so I dismissed it.
I'm now getting things lined up for her to be tested by an occupational therapist and wonder if these things resonate with your SPD kid:
• Anxiety - testing really makes her anxious. Sometimes when she gets anxious she has a meltdown which can involve "temper tantrum" type behavior at school, shutting down completely and refusing to do anything at all (defiance). She ESPECIALLY hates it when she hears kids make certain noises during testing like "Ssshhhhh!!"
• Poor impulse control - when she wants to do something, she has a hard time NOT doing it.
• Anger/Frustration - she doesn't go off at everything, but when she is being punished she gets really angry, and sometimes she gets really angry when she's anxious. She can sometimes be very destructive when she's angry and throw a complete temper tantrum. Oppositional behavior – refusing to do what she is told (ie, math test). Got kicked out of sports camp for slapping a girl’s hand (the girl was pointing in her face and making fun of her)
• Social delay - she doesn't relate to other kids the way most 10 year olds do. She would rather play with a 7 or 8 year old or an adult than kids her own age because she is immature and socially more on level with them. Sometimes she acts really silly like a younger kid. She missed social cues until she was aided at 6, so she’s missed a lot. Doesn’t make friends easily, gets made fun of a lot.
• Lying - lies a lot to get out of trouble (she gets in a lot of trouble at school)
• Inattention to instructions - even if you have her attention, she will listen then completely do the opposite or just not do it at all. For instance, "Take this book and put it in your room." She will take the book, walk 2 feet, put the book down and walk off forgetting about it. or "Don't turn on the water hose" 2 minutes later, she's turning on the water hose.
• Independent behavior – don’t know if that is the right word, but frequently she just decides she’s going to do something and does it. For example, when she was in Kindergarten and first grade, she would just get tired of school and leave and start walking to her brother’s daycare.
• Hitting herself, kicking things, being destructive - she doesn't draw blood or anything, but she is a VERY physical child. She hits herself in the head when she gets frustrated, she slaps herself on the forehead, she will kick desks when she's having a meltdown at school, has put holes in the walls of the house from slamming the door open, has torn up blinds, hits her brothers, THREATENS to hit her brothers all the time.
• Afraid of the dark and afraid of being alone - I'm pretty sure she hasn't slept through the night EVER in her life. Her first year she woke up like every hour and refused to sleep in her own bed (crying inconsolably until she got sick if you left her in there). Now she sleeps in her own bed all night (still waking up at least once) about 10% of the time. Maybe less. The rest of the time, she'll go to sleep in her bed with the door open and the hall light on and then a few hours later, she'll be climbing in bed with one of her brothers or her dad or me. If she has to go to time out or her room, she FREAKS out if you close the door. She will just go nuts screaming kicking, crying, tearing up her bedding, you name it. She also still self-soothes by sucking her thumb at night although she doesn't do it where anyone can see. Her 8 year old brother still sucks his thumb too, when he goes to bed.
• Food - she wants to eat all the time. She eats a lot when she eats. She will eat more than me! She goes in the kitchen early in the morning (did I mention she wakes up at the crack of dawn?) and wants to help herself to whatever is in there, then takes it to her room and eats it. She hides the wrappers (ie granola bars, etc). I have gotten to where I just leave out things for her to eat in the morning so she doesn't go straight for a candy bar or something. Also, she can be very averted to certain foods - like she will refuse to eat it and if you tell her she has to try it, she will literally gag and throw up. Also, she's not great at table manners - it seems like she's just so focused on eating as much as she can and quickly that she smacks, takes huge bites, uses her hands sometimes... I mean, maybe she just has poor table manners. I try to correct her at every meal to the point where eating together is just a big problem for me. It doesn't bother me as much as it bothers her step-dad, and he is very sensitive to all of the noises and her "eating like an animal" so I have come to the point where I almost dread meal time because I know that he's going to be griping at them and I'm going to have to correct them and we can't even have a normal conversation sometimes.
• Rules - BAD at following, like I said above, she just doesn't remember the rules, or she disregards them and does what she wants to do anyway. If you give her a consequence for breaking the rule, she generally has a melt-down depending how severe the consequence. She will argue with you, deny breaking the rule, lie about it (even if you saw her doing it with your own eyes), make excuses for it, throw a temper tantrum, cry, beg, plead - and we're not talking serious consequences here. We're talking like a 10-minute time out from playing, or saying we're going to turn off the TV for the next few hours, or no dessert.
• HATES CHANGE - this is a huge one for us. If she has to change classes mid-year, or even from one grade to the next; if she has to go in a new class at church, if she has ANYTHING change, she gets very anxious about it. Last year we had to change teachers at the end of the year and she was so anxious about it she just cried and begged and pleaded and had a meltdown over it. If we visit a new church, she will cling to me and refuse to go to the class until I beg her and push her in or until I bribe her with something.
• Dressing/Clothing/hygiene - she's very particular about her clothes. Her shirts cannot have tags in them. Her panties cannot be itchy. She hates jeans because they are itchy. She wants to wear leggings and t-shirts all the time. She's terrible at remembering simple hygiene - like WASH YOUR HAIR in the shower. Wipe after you go to the bathroom. Brush your teeth and hair. She hates having her hair fixed at all, and especially hates ponytails, etc, which she will take out at the first chance she gets. Also, she prefers to have no clothes on and will take them off in the backyard frequently when she’s jumping on the trampoline or playing in the water, prefers to just have panties and a t-shirt on or just panties.
• Meltdowns – when she gets overwhelmed or feels shamed, she melts down and literally cries and kicks things and makes noises like growling or whatever. Sometimes she causes a scene in class and is sent out. Several times a year she visits the principals office, she is on an ARD
Thanks in advance!
Jones
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Heather