+- SPD Support Forum (http://spdsupport.org/forum)
+-- Forum: General Forums (http://spdsupport.org/forum/forum-1.html)
+--- Forum: Introductions (http://spdsupport.org/forum/forum-3.html)
+--- Thread: Wife of 30 year old and mom of 3 year old with SPD (/thread-701.html)
Wife of 30 year old and mom of 3 year old with SPD - Tam - 08-15-2012
LUCKY ME!
So my husband and I have been together for about 10 years now. He is 30 years old. When I first met him, I realized he was a bit different, but not so much that it bothered me.
Fast forward 8 years. We began the process of adopting kids through foster care. I was researching different types of behaviors when I ran across SPD. And HOLY COW, that was my husband.
He always thought he was a freak
He has some fairly incredible issues.All of his senses are heightened- hearing sight touch smell and taste.
Firstly, he doesnt eat anything GREEN. NO Vegies
Its a miracle hes healthy. Its a combination of taste and the texture in his mouth, it makes him gag. Hes to the point he refuses to try anything. He hates his head being touched. Other parts of his body are also very sensitive.
He cannot handle anything with added scent. Just too much. I cant wear perfume or scented lotions. No room fresheners.
He cant differentiate sound volume in a room with many things going on. He hears everything at the same level. It makes it very hard to concentrate. I can never whisper around him
He wears shorts and soft tshirts. No tags. He cant get past the feeling of something on his legs.
So get this. We were matched with a little guy, not quite 3 years old. Many of the same issues! At least we have an idea of where to start!
My question is this- will my husband ever eat other foods? What can I do to help both him and my son?
Thanks for listening!
Tam
RE: Wife of 30 year old and mom of 3 year old with SPD - Heather - 08-16-2012
Welcome to the site Tam!
For trying to get your husband to eat other types of foods as well as your son, it is going to take a long slow process of introducing new food again. My youngest just turned 2 and I also have a 4 year old, both sound very similar to your husbands issues. I found that occasionally offering a new food, or offering a food that has similar texture to a veggie or such will slowly get them to eat the new foods.
Hope this helps! You are doing great and making a huge step for support by finding us
again welcome to SPDSupport.org
RE: Wife of 30 year old and mom of 3 year old with SPD - shorrocksalot24 - 08-16-2012
Hi Tam. Has your husband looked into SPD. I am 42, and learning so much of why me, and my son, avoid, and seek many different sensations has helped me understand so much. I was thinking about the green veggie thing. They are so varied. In texture, taste. Some are really great, raw, a totally different experience, than cooked. Same with canned/frozen - they have such different mouth feel, and taste. So I (who is far from expert!) would suggest experimenting with the many, many varieties.
Some examples of how I see this work - is my nearly 12yr old. He throws up if he puts mashed potatoes in his mouth, but is fine with pototo chips, and french fries. He loves strawberries - raw. If they are in a milk shake, or ice cream he wont have it, because of the seeds. It seems like there is a slight expectation thing too. Ice cream should be creamy - not have seeds in it! (his automatic thoughts I think) He likes Blueberries raw, but in a smoothy, or popsicle, the skins, and little seeds - he hates. He loves broccoli - if it is steamed just right. He used to like string beans - but a few bad frozen bags, with too many strings on them, and he now is completely skeptical of them. He loves chicken(shredded like) but sprays I cant believe its not butter on it - to make it super moist (which drives me nuts) - no matter what. He used to take a sip of drink with every bite of his foods, but it seems like this accidental find of his, the I cant blv its not butter, makes it that he doesnt do that all of the time with his chicken. I got him to try a great chicken tender, with some coconut in the breading - and he liked it, until I told him there was coconut in it - now he is skeptical of any chicken tenders I make. He loves pineapple - but when it gets in his teeth - its too much for him.
Basically - the food thing is so far more complex than I could have ever imagined. Textures, expectations, smells, flavors, even the temperature of it can be a major influence for my son. I also find that subconsiously me and my son, will avoid things that make us feel sick. Like hot dogs. He used to eat them religiously, but I think he stopped because of heart burn, that I did not know he was having - and he did not know that he was having reflux - it was accidental, that I was complaining about mine, and he was like huh? thats what I feel like - and I was shocked. So we try to avoid things that could aggreavate that too. Veggies can be quite disagreeable with you, even though they are healthy. I am very careful - about when and what ones I eat, and love them all. I love pop rocks, but I cant have them too much, because of how the sugar makes me feel. So I save that as a special sensory treat.
Sorry this is so long. Hope it gives you some ideas - especially with your son - your hubby will have to make the choices to try new things, and maybe if he thinks about the how and why his food choices are what they are, it may spur him to try more! But hey, you said he is healthy, and that is awesome! Welcome to the site!
RE: Wife of 30 year old and mom of 3 year old with SPD - LAC1961 - 08-21-2012
You might find this blog encouraging, or at least get a laugh:
http://www.spdbloggernetwork.com/2011/04/30/signs-you-may-have-a-kid-with-eating-issues/
My son would not eat any vegetable if it was cooked, except corn on the cob. The only raw veg he would eat was lettuce and cucumber. These are the least nutritious vegies on the planet, so in effect, he did not eat vegies.
Fast forward five years later, he's 25, married, and his wife has him eating all kinds of vegies, cooked and raw. The one thing he still can't get past is peas. They make him gag every time.
I asked his wife how she got him to do it. She said she told him when they had kids she would not tolerate a picky eater, so he had to learn to like some vegies to be an example to their kids. Amazingly her strategy worked!
RE: Wife of 30 year old and mom of 3 year old with SPD - Tam - 08-21-2012
I WISH!
I tried that with my husband already. I also tried the "Youre kids are going to be so angry with you when you die an untimely death because you didnt ear well" talk..
nothin'
Ask your daughter in law how long it took for him to eat without gagging...I think my husband is worried that it will never change.
Thanks for the reply