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+--- Thread: how do you get over some things at 42yrs? (/thread-685.html)
how do you get over some things at 42yrs? - shorrocksalot24 - 07-31-2012
Hi everyone. I am wondering how some of you adult SPDers ask for help. I am having a majorly hard time with it. The only way I can explain it is - I am not doing something for reasons ABC and D, and therefore how could I ask the kids?
- especially the youngest who has many of the issues I do, regarding SPD. Even when I do meltdown, and get some help, or come up with ways that would make some of the chores more manageable - DH, and sons do not follow suit in an consistant manner - so I end up blowing my lid - and feel like I am bitching my life away - to get HELP. I have went as far as writing with Sharpies on walls. This morning - new, wet towel left on nasty carpeted steps by DH. Full sink of dishes made by DS last night. Soccer equipment all over kitchen left by other DS last night. I mean - when you are a 42yr old mother - who cant keep focused from room to room, how in the He** are you supposed to focus your Kids - you know? I am trying so hard to cope with things, and end up feeling like a chronic bitchomatic that "I" cant stand.
After 42yrs, I feel I am pretty resourcefull - yet I am failing miserably at getting my DH and Sons to HELP, or even be responsible for basic stuff, like flushing a toilet, getting dirty clothes where they gotta be, taking trash out, etc, etc, etc. I know some of you know my issues, but I feel like in my house - its the blind leading the blind - to misery. UGH
RE: how do you get over some things at 42yrs? - beck7422 - 08-01-2012
I have recently started being a Foster Mom. I have SPD and my otherwise wonderful Foster Daughter (FD) has been triggering my SPD. She doesn't mean to do anything bad by it, she just needs to stay active 99% of the time and gets into everything.
I have found that deep breathes, counting to 10 slowly, and temporarily shutting down my responses have mostly succeeded in keeping me from yelling at her. I ask her to stop the activity that is driving me crazy or try to redirect her to an activity that won't keep triggering my SPD.
Today while I was trying to have a physical therapy appointment to help me safely exercise (due to other disabilities), she kept falling into me by goofing off doing things I told her to not do. I thought I was going to burst into tears and hysterics. The deep breathes and count down were the only thing that keep me from melting down. It was a close thing though.
My husband takes her in the evenings to high impact exercise activities and that gives me some time to reset my nerves. Without that sanity time I wouldn't be able to manage.
RE: how do you get over some things at 42yrs? - Jaffa - 08-04-2012
Shorrocksalot I don't have SPD and I get that way about doing everything myself. It gets on top of me to the point of wanting to run away. I admire you having SPD on top of being a parent responsible for everyone else and their chores.
You are doing brilliantly.
RE: how do you get over some things at 42yrs? - shorrocksalot24 - 08-06-2012
Jaffa, thank you - those are very kind words, and I needed them - this morning - AGAIN! When I was being treated for my ADHD, I had a much, much easier time(3yrs out of 15 of parenthood, with about 4yrs of 100x worse SPD). I run away multiple times a day, to my MB - that I have turned into - my safe/happy room (for the most part). If I did not have that escape I dont know how I would manage nowadays.