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I'm 21, but is this my answer. - Oblivion - 03-02-2012
Hello,
I'm a guy, 21 years old and an university student.
I have OCD, but I feel like this disorder doesn't answer all my question. I feel like my OCD behaviour is just a reaction to something else, something bigger.
A while ago I read an article that hypersensitive kids may develop OCD as adults(as a way to cope) if they are put in an environment that's too stressfull for them. And this sounds exactly as my situation.
*When I was younger I cried for the smallest stuff, I remember that even my teacher was annoyed by it. Like everytime someone said something that could be interpretated as somehow negative, I started crying.
*I can't stand movies that are to violent. Last week we were watching a movie with my nephews and they are like 11. I couldn't watch it, it was too much violence for me. I know it's stupid that 11 year olds can watch stuff that doesn't bother them at all but I can't.
*I'm always the only one to get car sick/motion sick. A while ago we went to an amusement park, couldn't do do anything that went updside down as I already get sick in the car...
*I have lots of food sensitivities.
*When I'm in group I'm also the one who hears stuff that others don't hear. I don't imagine it ,the sound it there but I hear it and others don't.
*I have anxiety issues like I said.
*I'm more touched/moved by the music I listen to and the movies I watch. (that may also explain why I can't watch some movies, because it feels like I feel what they feel)
*I can't focus when I'm in class or when I'm studying. And when I study I have always to listen to music or it's almost impossible for me to study.
*It's like my mind needs to be occupied all day and I don't know why. I don't even like it but I'm on the computer all day when I'm not at school or with friends. Also when I'm outside I need to have my ipod.
*I hate when people touch me especially that light thought it drives me crazy. It's like I can still feel the touch even when they stopped touching me. (On the other side I cdon't have problems touching people)
*I'm also like the only one to get nauseated by certain smells. It doesn't bother anybody else.
*My energy level is really low except when I'm running,playing soccer, swimming or other sports. But when I'm doing something like laundry or dishes I get really tired after 2 min. I can literally bike 100km or run 20 km but some stupid stuff makes me tired like crap.(???)
*I like to be around people and have fun but after a while I need to be alone like I feel it's becoming too much. (Edit: I thought about this one and it's not always the case, this is probably caused by the fact that I have to think to much around certain people so not really an SPD thing but probably anxiety related)
*I procrastinate everything even if my life depends on it.And when after trying starting something for the 3541654th time I can't finish it even if my life depends on it.
*I can't stand certain sounds like people eating, people breathing loudly or babies crying, it drives me nuts!!!
Does this sound like SPD? Or maybe something else?
RE: I'm 21, but is this my answer. - beck7422 - 03-02-2012
Oblivion, most of it sounds exactly like SPD.
Being an introvert and procrastination are not SPD caused, but can be made worse by SPD. Everything else sounded like SPD.
I too need music to study. I use Heavy Metal music. If I sing while walking I can walk farther than when I don't.
The small tasks tire me quickly as well. But for me that is another condition than SPD. The texture of dirty dishes really bothers me and that does have an SPD component in how fast I tire out.
RE: I'm 21, but is this my answer. - Oblivion - 03-02-2012
I thought about that being an introvert, actually I'm not really an introvert but I seem like an introvert to most people. It's really an anxiety thing I think cuz sometimes I feel I need to do too much effort to talk to people. It's really related to my anxiety problems.
And when I know people really well there are 2 possibilities. I can laugh with them all day or they are not so intresting and then I feel the need to be alone because they don't seem to give me the level of stimulation that I need.
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It's really weird but I guess I do have SPD. It's kinda hard for me to realise, I just realised a year ago that I have OCD. While I felt OCD didn't give me all the answers and the meds I tried didn't help at all.
I feel like having sensory issues kinda caused my OCD behaviour I don't know if that makes sense. But I feel like OCD is a way to cope for the overwhelming sensory input I have sometimes.
RE: I'm 21, but is this my answer. - beck7422 - 03-02-2012
An extravert is a person who gains energy from being around people. They are often the last to leave a party because they need to suck the life from everyone around them. I am an extravert. The larger the group of people (as long as they aren't too close together) the more hyper and animated I get. When I am by myself I have almost no energy.
An introvert is someone who can be social for a few hours, but after that they feel exhausted and often feel like they had the life sucked out of them... The smaller and more intimate the group is, the longer an introvert can last before breaking.
Some people are on the line between the two, but the majority tend to be clearly extraverts or introverts.
I am a bit on the odd side being Hypersentive to almost everything and also being an extravert. I need a lot of accommodations at parties so that my SPD doesn't make me run away. I don't want to run away, but sometimes sensory wise I have no choice. I went to an awards dinner recently. There was a cocktail hour before the dinner. There were over a hundred people in an echoing tiny hallway. Additionally, there was a piano and flute playing. It was noisy, crowded, and the sound of flutes make me irrationally angry. Even though it would have been a great professional opportunity for me to socialize, I just couldn't. I had to escape to another room until the dinner started. I was mostly OK with the crowd (noise, perfume, and accidental light touches all beating down on me) until the flute started.
On talking to people, that is a skill that requires a lot of practice. I learned how to do it at a young age from my father. He would just walk into a crowd of strangers, introduce himself, and then meet everyone in that crowd by the end of the day. Until my sensory problems got so bad, I used to be able to do that to. I still can usually meet at least 10 new people per party before sensory wise I have to back off. If you want to improve your skill, tell your anxiety to "go to hell" and just go up to a stranger and say "Hi, my name is [insert name]. I noticed that you have some great [insert item]. I was wondering where you found it." Use the item (not a body part) as the thing that drew your eye to them in the first place. Inserting yourself into an ongoing conversation is trickier, but can be done with practice.
OCD can be a sensory protection skill. My husband has OCD and utilizes it to protect him from some mild sensory issues. I try to never make fun of him when his OCD is activated just try to get out of the way while he gets rid of the trigger. Dirty smelly dishes make him hysterical for example until they are cleaned. I am best getting out of the way and letting him clean the dishes.
When my husband's sensory problems activate he HAS to fix the problem. When my sensory problems activate, I completely shut down to the point of catatonia until someone else fixes the problem. I would much rather have to and be able to fix the problem than shut down so completely that people have a hard time telling if I am alive.
RE: I'm 21, but is this my answer. - Raven - 03-02-2012
I understand what u are going through. I was diagnosed as ocd too. It took a lot of work, but I'm now ocd free. The problem was that after that I still had problems. It took years, but they (psychologist) determined that the ocd traits masked what was really the problem: spd and adhd. Now that I'm working on these two, I actually feel better than I ever have before. Anyway, good luck. I hope you find some comfort.
RE: I'm 21, but is this my answer. - Jaffa - 03-03-2012
(03-02-2012, 09:58 PM)beck7422 Wrote: An extravert is a person who gains energy from being around people. They are often the last to leave a party because they need to suck the life from everyone around them. I am an extravert. The larger the group of people (as long as they aren't too close together) the more hyper and animated I get. When I am by myself I have almost no energy.
Beck7422 wow your explaination of this is brilliant, as soon as I read it, it is so my son. I have never thought of him being extrovert just hyper. He is like this with people all the time. Another light goes on. Thanks.
RE: I'm 21, but is this my answer. - Oblivion - 03-03-2012
@beck It's like you say. When I can control my anxiety issues I can easily get along with people. I had a phase when my anxieties really went down a lot and I made tons of friends. When I'm having fun I'm also always the last one who wants to leave but I guess the anxiety and the spd masks my real self and make me seem the opposite of who I am.
@Raven: Can I ask you how you became OCD free? Also what you said is exactly why I came here. Everyone is acceptance is the key, meds can help you(I hate meds btw, I'm too sensitive for them.SPD?) but then I imagine myself without OCD and it's like it's still crappy.
What I hate the most is the under-stimulation that I have when there is nothing going around like it costs me TONS of energy just to start something.(Even dress myself to go outside, how many time I postponed that one, missed a lot of school hours because of that)
I'm going to be honest, I'm only 21 but this crap (in combination with my family issues) ruined my life. I was 1 year ahead at school and have an IQ of 130, I excell in a lot of sports and most people find my funny. But I quit university 1 year ago, quit soccer 1.5 years ago, quit guitar school, I have no home anymore (luckily I can stay with some people for now but it wasn't always the case), lost my girlfriend and I don't have any interaction with most of my friends anymore.
I've been through hell believe me, certainly because of this OCD, I can manage it somehow better now but there have been times I was bombarded with the same thought for months on an end 24/7.
Even my OCD is weird it only picks stuff that come from youth. Some people with OCD fear stuff like being a pedophile, being gay, doubting their relationship excessively, I never focus on that always the same central fear that I developed when I was younger.(I don't want to put the whole story here or else it's going to take 30min to read).
@beck: "OCD can be a sensory protection skill. My husband has OCD and utilizes it to protect him from some mild sensory issues."
I can certainly relate to this. When I was younger I had this compulsion of touching people whenever they touched me because it made me go nuts and I had to find something to calm it.
What books do you guys think I should read?
BTW: Sorry if I make to much mistakes. English isn't my native language.(+ I'm rambling too much right now..)
RE: I'm 21, but is this my answer. - Jaffa - 03-03-2012
Oblivion I would never have guessed your native tongue was NOT English. You put your point across perfectly.
Do you not have any relatives that understand your problems or even to just be there for you.
Don't answer if you feel it's too personal. It's just I am a mum of 5 ranging from 32 down to 5 and can't imagine never being there for my kids. I am a foster mum too so I understand there are loads of kids who have brought themselves up.
RE: I'm 21, but is this my answer. - Oblivion - 03-03-2012
(03-03-2012, 10:58 AM)Jaffa Wrote: Oblivion I would never have guessed your native tongue was NOT English. You put your point across perfectly.
Do you not have any relatives that understand your problems or even to just be there for you.
Don't answer if you feel it's too personal. It's just I am a mum of 5 ranging from 32 down to 5 and can't imagine never being there for my kids. I am a foster mum too so I understand there are loads of kids who have brought themselves up.
Yeah I kinda brought myself up, since I was 6 we lived in a small village where we were the only "foreigners" (that's when all my problems started and my OCD came up).
I grew up in Belgium but I have no relatives there the closest relatives lives 1000km away (I'm staying with them since a few weeks). But actually I don't talk about my problems cause really nobody from my relatives understands and I have to listen to crap like "with some effort your anxiety will go away" and they make me feel like I'm exaggerating (and I didn't even say 1/4 of everything) + there isn't really a reason why I should talk to them about it.
RE: I'm 21, but is this my answer. - Jaffa - 03-03-2012
Some people judge others by their standards. If they don't know you have a problem, or worse they don't understand it even when they know. It causes more problems for you. As you say, they say get over it. SPD is not something that can be got over, it is a medical condition that is there for life and it means you have things you cannot do no matter how hard you try.
I am sorry you have no one to help and support you. We all need someone. I don't know how medical systems work in other countries as I am in uk. Can you get referred to someone who can give you a diagnosis.