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+--- Thread: I'm not crazy, I'm just different. (/thread-487.html)
I'm not crazy, I'm just different. - Fractal - 11-12-2011
HI. I am an adult living with SPD. I found out about SPD a few years ago while doing an internet search on auditory processing disorders. I found a checklist, and after having read it and breaking down into tears, I called my mother to ask her about my childhood. When I told her why I was calling,she very nonchalantly informed me that the doctors had said that, as a child, I had difficulty processing sensory input. All that I had known about was an early diagnosis as ADHD and a learning disability. She also informed me that my son, then 2 years old and in her care, had been diagnosed with a sensory disorder and was receiving OT.
I remember little of childhood, but I do know that my teen years were a constant meltdown. Unstable moods and erratic shifts in behavior. in tolerances to light and sound, extreme tactile defensiveness, constant debilitating headaches and sensitivities to everything around me.
Over the years, I isolated myself more and more until I refused to leave the house for weeks, even months on end. The outside world was confusing and painful, but through it all my husband stuck by me and tolerated my erratic behavior.
Then one day last week My husband made a brilliant observation. He noticed that every time he watched a movie by a certain production company, I reacted with pain and growing hostility asking him to turn it down more and more until he couldn't hear it, and I eventually just left the room frustrated. That company is well known for using the full spectrum of frequencies audible to the human ear.
I presented my doc with my findings. I was afraid he would tell me I was a hypochondriac and that my self diagnosis was bull. But instead he pulled out his computer and started looking up these new terms he had never heard (He is a GP, not a neurologist)eventually he looked up at me and nodded. Though I don't have a formal diagnosis of anything as an adult, I know that I have found my answer.
Now comes the fun part of paying attention to my urges and moods instead of pushing them aside and attempting to 'fit in'. My husband is very understanding,and will go to great lengths for my happiness. My roommates, not so much. But, Thankfully for me, it would seem my now immediate need of a sensory room outweighs our need for renters.
I'm glad that I understand better now how I process my environment. And that my difficulties through life are all easily explainable. Though maybe not fixable,I know that I am NOT broken, I'm just a more advanced and delicate system then most people.
RE: I'm not crazy, I'm just different. - LynnNBoys - 11-13-2011
I'm so glad you found us and that you're discovering all these things about yourself. That's wonderful that your hubby is so supportive of your needs!
Welcome! I look forward to getting to know you!