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+--- Thread: sofa and bed fabrics cause daughter to meltdown!? advice and help (/thread-1752.html)
sofa and bed fabrics cause daughter to meltdown!? advice and help - mrscoco - 05-31-2016
Hi new here and im the mother of a 13 year old daughter who has autistic, ocd, and spd traits - never really had sensory problems but since becoming a pre - teen they have really come out! Main problem is the family putting their feet on the sofa which is is a suede type material, especially her younger brother. All day long all I can hear her saying to him is "feet, feet!!!!!" with him it seems to be the worst, and even though I feel for her I feel worse for him! The problem is not just limited to the sofa but also any bed as well, even if she walks into a bedroom that is not her own as soon as she sees feet on the bed she carry on saying "feet!!" which basically means moves your feet!! It comes across as so controlling and agressive, which I realise she cannot help and has explained to me exactly how it makes her feel etc, however this past weekend we made the silly mistake of our family of 4 staying in a hotel room and this situation really caused her to have some massive meltdowns, that I have not seen to that extent before. She blamed us every time it happened even though we were all going out of our way to not do anything, it seemed she was hyperfocussed on watching us to make sure!!!??? Wondered if anyone else has experienced anything similar. We have not had any OT but have applied for it. She totally meets the criteria for spd, but then the same goes for asd, ocd. She was diagnosed with autistic traits/aspergers as brother on the spectrum. I think there is so much overlap in these disorders and all the traits are almost identical.
Thanks
RE: sofa and bed fabrics cause daughter to meltdown!? advice and help - Jmelda1 - 06-02-2016
I don't know if this is a sensory issues or not. To me it sounds like it might not be a texture issue since it's not just her on the bed or couch that causes the problem. I'm also autistic, have SPD and an anxiety disorder. I have fabric texture issues, but if I can't sit somewhere or have bare skin touching it, then it's just me who doesn't touch it, and it's ok if other people touch since they're not bothered by it. Could it perhaps be more of an anxiety/ OCD related thing? Maybe she's for some reason fixed on people's feet not touching certain things?
Meltdowns can be triggered by anxiety sometimes, and not sensory issues. I know for me, traveling, and having to share close quarters without significant alone time, dramatically increases the chance of a meltdown. Some of my worst meltdowns have happened on trips.
RE: sofa and bed fabrics cause daughter to meltdown!? advice and help - mrscoco - 06-05-2016
(06-02-2016, 03:58 PM)Jmelda1 Wrote: I don't know if this is a sensory issues or not. To me it sounds like it might not be a texture issue since it's not just her on the bed or couch that causes the problem. I'm also autistic, have SPD and an anxiety disorder. I have fabric texture issues, but if I can't sit somewhere or have bare skin touching it, then it's just me who doesn't touch it, and it's ok if other people touch since they're not bothered by it. Could it perhaps be more of an anxiety/ OCD related thing? Maybe she's for some reason fixed on people's feet not touching certain things?
Meltdowns can be triggered by anxiety sometimes, and not sensory issues. I know for me, traveling, and having to share close quarters without significant alone time, dramatically increases the chance of a meltdown. Some of my worst meltdowns have happened on trips.
Hi thanks so much for your reply! Yes shes also on the autistic spectrum and has anxiety to go with that too, I honestly think it all goes hand in hand (me too!) You could be right though, I dont doubt that she has sensory issues however she is def fixating on the feet thing and so she has an extra quick trigger response when she is already fixating on with her close family members. Also when out of her comforts zone which is basically our house and town where we live, she will meltdown about anything, sometimes is just a random thought in her brain and if she is extra anxious she will meltdown, its very hard to go out with her for even just a simple day as we never know what will trigger her off and she will start out so happy but it can all take a turn downhill and then the whole family is on edge.
RE: sofa and bed fabrics cause daughter to meltdown!? advice and help - Jmelda1 - 06-07-2016
(06-05-2016, 06:30 PM)mrscoco Wrote:(06-02-2016, 03:58 PM)Jmelda1 Wrote: I don't know if this is a sensory issues or not. To me it sounds like it might not be a texture issue since it's not just her on the bed or couch that causes the problem. I'm also autistic, have SPD and an anxiety disorder. I have fabric texture issues, but if I can't sit somewhere or have bare skin touching it, then it's just me who doesn't touch it, and it's ok if other people touch since they're not bothered by it. Could it perhaps be more of an anxiety/ OCD related thing? Maybe she's for some reason fixed on people's feet not touching certain things?
Meltdowns can be triggered by anxiety sometimes, and not sensory issues. I know for me, traveling, and having to share close quarters without significant alone time, dramatically increases the chance of a meltdown. Some of my worst meltdowns have happened on trips.
Hi thanks so much for your reply! Yes shes also on the autistic spectrum and has anxiety to go with that too, I honestly think it all goes hand in hand (me too!) You could be right though, I dont doubt that she has sensory issues however she is def fixating on the feet thing and so she has an extra quick trigger response when she is already fixating on with her close family members. Also when out of her comforts zone which is basically our house and town where we live, she will meltdown about anything, sometimes is just a random thought in her brain and if she is extra anxious she will meltdown, its very hard to go out with her for even just a simple day as we never know what will trigger her off and she will start out so happy but it can all take a turn downhill and then the whole family is on edge.
Autism and anxiety definitely go hand in hand. I've yet to meet an autistic that does not also deal with some sort of anxiety. For me, my anxiety and sensory issues kind of feed off of eachother. Being sensory overloaded can trigger my anxiety. And then my anxiety can trigger sensory issues because the fight or flight response heightening my already heightened sensed. Also, Autistics tend to fixate on things, so that trait could also be part of the issue. And being in a new place where you have no control of your environment is very difficult and sometimes a bit scary. I love to travel and see new places, but it's difficult. But things will get better over time as you and your daughter learn her triggers and how to deal with them and what to do to help prevent them as much as possible. It takes time, but at least for me things have improved dramatically for me over time as I learn about myself and explore things that could work. I guess what I'm trying to say is to hang in there, I know things are hard but they will get better eventually.